If you want to handle your teen’s aggression, then the first thing you need to do is to understand your own anger and find healthier ways to calm down. You need to develop empathy. Hasn’t your own behavior with your kid been different as per your varying moods? At pleasant times, you are naturally sweet with your kid but when you become stressed, your anger shows up again on your kid or spouse, disturbing the family peace. Such behavior doesn’t inspire your kid in any way. Here, wisdom comes in handy. It is wisdom that prevents stress from getting into your system and nurtures your empathy.
Tips to melt your kid’s anger with love
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Be like a diamond; don’t feel hurt
As an empathetic parent, it is very important that you remain centred and not react to your kid’s aggression. Kids become insensitive due to their own stress, and they may throw harsh words without caring about their impact. Just understand that your kid is not in the right senses and needs your support. Like a diamond, stay strong and know for sure that even your children have good intentions. Never doubt their love and respect for you.
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Influence the influencer of your child
One thing you should know is that as parents, you cannot bring about all the changes you wish to see in your kids singlehandedly. Of all the influences around, kids in general, are more influenced by their friends while growing up. Your parental influence thus needs to be more on those four to five close friends whom your kid finds difficult to decline. Before becoming a good parent, be a good aunt or uncle to your kid’s friends. Skillfully influence your kid’s friends with positivity and you will see, it will make a big difference in your child’s life too. It will save your kid from all the negativity and bad habits.
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Anger is good, by the way!
It is important that sometimes you show some anger to your kids. Your anger makes them tough and resilient. If you are goody-goody all the time and not allowing your kids to undergo any kind of hardship, then know for sure that you are making them more fragile. Later, they grow up to become too sensitive to face life’s challenges like failures, rejections, criticisms, changing situations, etc. Even trivial matters of everyday life will make them angry and aggressive. So, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty if you are using anger as a tool to bring your child onto the right track.
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Teach your child the joy of giving
Sharing is a joy for kids, for that is their true nature. But as parents, if you do not help them create positive experiences of sharing and caring, then their mindset starts narrowing down. Kids do express jealousy and anger at times over their belongings but these impressions are only in the seed form in the mind. What really matters as a parent is what kind of tendencies you nurture in your kid to take along in the future. Simple acts of kindness such as feeding the hungry or serving the community will help your kid to experience, extend and expand his joy, leaving no room for aggression.
Medha Yoga Level 1 is one such program where teens enjoy the joy of service and get rid of their stress through science-based breathing exercises.
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Are you your kid’s friend?
Should you be friends with your kids, is still a great debate today! The best parenting style is the one that keeps changing with the age of your child. Ancient scriptures suggest that when your child reaches sixteen, you should conduct yourself with him as a friend. Have friendly conversations with your kid and treat him with respect. And see how your kid will naturally feel the need to become a responsible adult, to live up to your trust.
|| प्राप्ते षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रं मित्रवदाचरेत् ||
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Have a sense of humor
We all have a sense of humor. If your mind is calm, you start taking things lightly and humorously. Your sense of humor has the power to transform the whole atmosphere at home, bringing you close to your kid. A tinge of humor helps you let go of your rigidity which your kid was probably resenting. Have more positive moments as a parent with your kid and avoid arguments at any cost with a touch of humor.
