How to Overcome Feelings
of Hurt

Tuesday, 28 March, 2017 Bangalore, India

If you have wisdom, you don’t have to go through pain to learn. We go through pain because we lack wisdom. But remember that you will come out of pain or hurt at some time or the other.

It is important for one to have a larger context to life. When you have a larger context, then trivial things don’t really bother you. They are like waves on the surface of the ocean – they rise and fall. So, if you are in pain, or have been hurt, here are the four ways of looking at the situation that will ease your pain!

#1 The one who has hurt you is pained

Many a time, people cause hurt to others because they have scars, and they are unhappy and miserable. They can only share what they have. They are hurt, and they are sharing the hurt with you. You might think that these people are hurting you purposely, but in fact, it is because they do not have happiness inside them, they don’t have joy or peace. They have pain inside of them, which is why they are causing you hurt.
So, what should the wounded party do? Compassion. You have to be compassionate to those who hurt you because they are wounded themselves.

#2 The one causing you hurt is just ignorant

There are people who hurt others out of sheer ignorance. They are not sensitive, and they are not aware that their actions are hurting others. They don’t know themselves and they don’t know what they are doing. They are ignorant and arrogant. You can only feel sorry for them and hope that someday they will become sensitive and intelligent.

#3 You’re hurting because It is just karma

You had to get this hurt, and if not this person, then someone else would have given it to you. You must have caused some hurt to someone in the past, so nature is bringing it back to you now. When you know that it's just the karma being repaid, you feel very settled.

#4 It is being done to make you strong

 

Nature is bringing this pain to you so that you become strong so that you discover the strength and power within you. Usually, when a pole is being installed, after the installation, they shake the pole to check whether it is rooted well enough or not. Hurt is just that, to see whether you are well established in yourself, whether you are in wisdom or not. Every hurt is trying to shake you, to see whether you are strong or not. It tests your strength. It is to make you stronger.

If you think a wise person or someone intelligent is hurting you, then you should be thankful because there is some purpose in that. They want you to be strong.
If your mother is scolding you, she is not doing it with bad intentions. If your father is scolding you, you can’t say, “Oh my father hurt me! My mother hurt me!”
Your parents are not hurting you – they are coming from a space of care and concern for you. We must recognize that they are doing things out of their limited understanding and love for you.

There are two major things that you feel when you are hurt – lack of communication and lack of understanding. Another reason to feel hurt, if you want to count it, is being oversensitive to irrelevant or ephemeral things. Events are all ephemeral – they are all moving and impermanent. Everything is changing. You don’t need to become oversensitive, “Oh he said this thing to me, she said this thing to me!”

Now, if someone is trying to physically hurt you, you just be careful and equip yourself. I am not saying if someone comes to hurt you, you fall at their feet. No, you be intelligent and protect yourself.

Read earlier posts

  • September 23, 2019

    September 23, 2019
  • September 23, 2019

    September 23, 2019
  • September 23, 2019

    September 23, 2019
  • September 23, 2019

    7 Steps to Cope with Frustration

    November 23, 2018
    • In life you will have 101 reasons to get frustrated. However it is up to you keep the enthusiasm alive without allowing the frustration to seep in. Here are some pointers to help you keep frustration at bay.
  • May 1, 2018

    The Best Form of Donation

    April 28, 2018
    • It is important to donate at least 3 percent of what we earn - says Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. In this article he further talks about the best form of donation
  • Is Buddhism a Part of Hinduism

    April 25, 2018
    • It is often asked - Is Buddhism a part of Hinduism? Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar sheds light on the origin and similarity between the two religions

    The 5 Types of People

    April 23, 2018
    • A must read: There are 5 types of people in society - find out which type are you in this knowledge sheet by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

CONNECT WITH GURUDEV

THE GURUDEV APP

Read wisdom from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s Blog, Facebook, Twitter and Live Talks.

IPHONE | ANDROID

Subscribe to wisdom updates