Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Guruji, we are unable to resolve the problems of daily life. How do you manage to resolve such huge problems with such ease? Tell us the secret.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
This secret itself is the Art of Living. You do the camp, do meditation, and get involved in seva and satsang. Get engaged in seva work, you will see, you will also be able to accomplish big tasks. One should be joyful. There should be contentment in the mind, and for the country, one should be ready to serve the nation.
In this world of stress, violence and corruption, what is your message for youths starting out in business?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
We must know that not the whole world is corrupt. There are a few people who indulge in corruption.
We must also remember that corruption begins where the sense of belongingness ends. This is what we should note. Nobody can do corrupt practices with those whom they think belong to them. Wherever there is sense of belongingness, corruption becomes simply impossible.
Corruption begins where sense of belongingness ends. So you need to educate people in values where the sense of belongingness is extended. This is what I call spirituality.
Spirituality is that which enhances the sense of belongingness among people, so there is that natural tendency to be honest and to care for each other.
Corruption simply becomes impossible in these cases.
What is the ultimate and greatest truth of life? Is it to be happy, or to make one’s family happy, or to serve humankind, or to reach the Divine?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
The ultimate journey starts with one step. Just do not sit and dream about the ultimate. Instead, begin your journey towards the ultimate.
Take small steps towards the Truth; towards this inquiry into life – “What is the goal of life?” This very inquiry can take you far. Everything has some significance in life.
Just eating alone is not the goal of life. Yet eating is essential for sustaining life. Isn’t it? Similarly, sleeping is not the goal of life. But can you discard sleep altogether? No, you cannot. In the same way, you have to be happy and you also have to make others happy. This is the journey towards the Ultimate.
What is the ultimate Truth, or the ultimate purpose of life? I tell you, one who really knows will not tell you, and anyone who does tell you, simply does not know. That is the secret.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
That is why I say that it is important to instill the three types of trust in your children – trust in oneself, trust in the goodness of others, and trust in the Divine. A little bit of moral and spiritual values, and the way you treat your parents and ask them to treat their grandparents can make an impact on them. From a young age, tell your children to take care of their grandparents. They will start being sensitive this way.
How do I know if my child is into drugs or just moody?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
That’s why it is important for you to know them and their friend circle. You will get to know what they do, where they go and keep a tab on them, especially when they are in their teenage.Teenage is a very difficult time. Teenagers are undergoing so many biological changes and so they are not just satisfied with the love of their parents. They look for love from outside – through emotional support or physical pleasure. Their mind is in such confusion. So, to deal with teenage children is a big task.
Please give guidance on parenting special children.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You simply serve them. Don’t pity them. You know, people with special needs, their soul is in a different state. They are not in a sorry state. They have come to this planet just to take service. With this attitude, you do service. Never have sympathy for them, ‘Oh poor child’. Children with special needs have come just to take service from you.
Sometimes dealing with kids gets so tricky that I tend to lose my patience. Every day I decide to be calm, but when the situation arises I am not able to control myself. What should I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You can’t do anything about it now, you have to live life spontaneously. It is okay to sometimes lose your temper, never mind. You should leave a little room for imperfection in life, and start accepting.
Some kids are there to teach you a lot of lessons, and it is okay for mothers and fathers to sometimes get upset with their kids. You don’t have to bring them up with all with sweet words all the time. Then you will make them very weak. I have seen parents who have never scolded their children. These children when they grow old, they can’t stand any criticism. A little criticism, a little disrespect from someone or a little bit of failure rattles them. They become so upset because they never experienced anything like that at home. So, at home, being upset with kids sometimes is like giving them a vaccination so that they get stronger. But don’t take this as an excuse to get upset all the time with the kids, it does not work. Too much of it is also bad. If you are scolding your children every day on a routine basis, they become so thick skinned and they go all the way to the other side, which is also not good. A little dose here and there is okay.
How do I deal with the rebelliousness of my kids?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Negative suggestions call for rebelliousness in the mind. If you say, “Don't do it”, then the mind says, “Why? Let me do it!” The mind calls for rebelliousness. But if you say, “You can do it, only you won't get the results”, then you don't leave a chance for the mind to be rebellious, then it takes the knowledge in.
I remember one dentist would tell kids who would ask ‘Why should I brush my teeth’, he would say, “No, you don't need to brush the teeth that you don't want, you only brush the teeth that you want to keep!”
So, move from negative suggestions to positive ones, this is important. When there is strong bonding, then negative or positive suggestions don’t matter. It’s only when the bonding is not very strong that negative suggestions call for rebelliousness in the mind.
There is so much competition in society that kids have no time to relax. There is a fear that they will not fit into society. How do we handle this situation?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You shouldn’t push them too much. You should teach them to relax. Music, meditation and some games will help. Take some time out to play games with your children, this is very important.
Tell your children 'Compete with yourself. How you did last year, see whether you are doing better this year', that's healthy competition.
How to cope with children’s expectations when they compare themselves with others and demand the things that others have?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You have to tell children that you can only give them this much and they shouldn’t compare themselves with others.
It is important that you don’t give them any false hope. At the same time, we can give them a dream. If you pass or do this, maybe you will get it. Here lies the importance of bringing them up with that sensitivity and belongingness. That is why I say, make your children participate in your life instead of teaching them, then they will not even ask you. They should be a participant in your life, then they will be sensitive towards you, rather than putting a demand on you.
Before you become a good father or mother, you need to become a good uncle or aunt. You should communicate more with the friends of your children. They will listen to you. Suppose, if your son or daughter’s friends have any wrong habit, you can influence them to change. They will listen to you more than their own parents.