Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
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What is the fastest way to feel belongingness and unity?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
When you are free from stress, you have a sense of belongingness and understanding. This is what happens when people undergo The Art of Living program. It happens so naturally.
What is the golden rule of a happy married life?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Well, I am not qualified to say anything, but let me think. Why don’t you sit with those who are happily married? What I have heard is:
Before marriage: a couple is mad for each other!
During marriage: They are made for each other!
And then: They are mad at each other!
After while: They are mad because of each other.
Somebody here has formulated this!
One thing I know, marriage is an institution of patience, sacrifice, caring for each other and sharing. If one is upset, other should keep quiet and wait for his/her turn to get upset. If both together get upset at the same time, then there is a problem! But in front of kids, one should better be civilized.
What shall we do to always be happy, because as I know your concept is to relax and attain happiness by that?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
What to do to always be happy? First, drop the feverishness to hold onto ALWAYS and you will find yourself happy. And then, if some moments of unpleasantness creep into life, accept that also.
Is there a masculine and feminine side to everything? Then why do we categorize things as male or female?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Yes! There is a neutral gender also. There are 3 genders. Some things fall under the neutral gender too. In fact, there is a whole scripture on the gender of stones as well as trees. The Shilpa Shastra or Book on Sculptures elaborates on this. Hawaiians also say that different stones have different genders! They can identify those. But it doesn’t matter. The Self, or the Spirit is beyond gender.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
The whole world is like that. It’s all spherical: everything moves in cycles. You have to come back, but you have a choice. If you are born out of compulsion then it's the same old story again and again. But if you get liberated, then you have the choice and the will to be born when you want. When you come back liberated, it is joyful.Is it true that some places have negative and positive vibes? I have experienced that our group working in our suburb doesn’t get the success it does outside. What should we do to increase the sattva of a place?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Keep working, keep doing. Everywhere it is possible to make a change. It’s just a matter of time.
How can I maintain happiness?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Do not make such an effort. In order to save your happiness, you have to spread it. Share your happiness with everyone. Why worry in this short span of life when there is such beautiful knowledge.
I have been introduced to two concepts which I find confusing. A: I am not the doer. Or B: I should take responsibility for little things even when I have little control. What's up?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Life is a balance between these two things. Taking responsibility and letting go. It's both. That's a fine balance. For the present and future take responsibility, for the past know that it has to happen that way and move on. So often we do the reverse. We think that the past was free will and regret and we think the future is all destiny and we don’t do anything about it. But you know, what the wise one does? They regard future as free will, past as destiny and they are happy in the present. So you don’t regret about the past and you know what you want to do in the future and you are on it.
How did you know you were a Guru? Did you have a Guru? Sometimes I wonder if I’m a Guru, maybe just for myself. What would you say to that?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You can’t be a surgeon for yourself. You may be a surgeon but you can’t be your own surgeon, right? So your mother is your first Guru. A mother teaches you. Of course, a Guru is one who is unconditional in his attitude and approach towards you. You should play the role of a Guru unconditionally. You help others or care for someone with wisdom. Then you are playing the role of a Guru to them too.
If you help somebody with an attitude of ‘I want nothing, I just want your progress’ then you’re a Guru to them. Yet don’t demand them to accept you as Guru. No, a real Guru does not demand anything, not even gratitude from somebody.
When a loved one dies, are they reincarnated? Will we know them again? In the case of a parent, are we still connected to them?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
All possible...It's possible to know them if they incarnate now and you can feel that? Haven't you felt that you go somewhere and suddenly you feel someone is very close to somebody? Your gut feeling comes. It's all possible. You know, we’re all connected in some time or another. In the past, we've all been connected. Now we are connected. Whether we acknowledge or not!