Sometimes I feel very lonely. I really don’t know what to do to get rid of this. I need someone to support me and someone on whom I can rely on. But no one is ready for 100% commitment. What to do?
Any companionship when it goes from a place of wanting or lack, to contributing, it is long lasting. You came into this world all alone. Even if you are born twins, you are alone. When you go from here, you are going to go alone. Do not try to run away from loneliness. It is a blessing in disguise.
This is the time for you to be centered. Push away everything around you. You will find that you are the scintillating energy of the universe. You are the centre of the consciousness. You are the ultimate truth. And this loneliness is only one step away from realizing that. Loneliness exists because you want to grab something from outside.
Lord Krishna in Gita has said, 'Anityam asukham lokam imam prapya bhajasva mam'. He is saying, 'This world is impermanent and there is no fun in it; there is no joy in it. Look up to me, merge in me. Put your attention onto me'.
It is time for you to do this. Trying to fill your loneliness by looking for a companion or anything outside is not going to work. Know that you are in this planet to give something and then pack up and leave. That is it. You have come here to give something. Take nothing from here.
When you get into this knowledge, or into the centre core of your existence, you will not feel lonely at all. You will feel that the consciousness around you is alive. You will see everyone as your friend. However they behave, it is immaterial, from your side, they are your friends. You become like a mother because a mother never minds if the kid is throwing pranks or tantrums, kicking or screaming. Children do all sorts of things. She doesn’t mind whether he is smiling or crying. She feels that the baby is mine. You will feel so big that the whole universe, the whole world feel part of you.
This is the way to get rid of loneliness. It does not happen by searching for someone to match your mindset. It will match only for a while, because nature has made you so unique. Each one of you has got a different thumb print. That itself shows your uniqueness. You may find some partner and feel very good for 7 years or 10 years. But you know, even after 40 years people feel that they were never together. You wonder, how they could live for 40 years and suddenly say, “We do not match each other. We are so different people”.
Come on, wake up and see. Don’t look for something or someone to fill your vacuum. There is song from a kavi (poet) which says, “My beloved comes to me in my dreams”.
When you think that this whole world is a dream, you shake hands with your beloved. Once you embrace your beloved, there is no loneliness anymore, anywhere, ever. This is the spiritual path.
I am not against you having a relationship or a family, or getting married. You can have your spouse or your companion, but not from the space of wanting something from them. You can imagine a partnership where you are content and you are only contributing to the other person. Such a relationship will last longer.
When you feel lonely, sit and meditate. Listen to bhajans or songs. Your beloved is within you. You just have to look inwards. Once you find the beloved within you, then you will find him/her everywhere in creation.
