By Elizabeth Herman┃Posted: January 31, 2019

In any kind of relationship, conflicting opinions, needs, and approaches to problems can arise at times. Even the most harmonious of partnerships can experience differences in perspective, and the most productive teams at work have to iron out their politics and conflicting priorities.

How do you usually handle conflicts? Do you judge others and dismiss them for not seeing things your way? Or do you get angry and lose your voice by screaming in frustration?

Getting on the same page can be daunting, especially when many diverse viewpoints sit at the same table. While the best of friends feel comfortable enough together to fight sometimes,  individuals who don’t know each other well may push conflicts under the rug, where they only fester and grow worse.

In this brief talk, Annelies Richmond, a very senior Art of Living Faculty, eloquently describes how acceptance and admiration for someone’s best qualities can help you navigate choppy seas. When we talk about the person’s highest nature, they become more willing to support win-win compromises and solve previously intractable struggles.

You may want to ask yourself: during a disagreement, can you see and acknowledge the highest qualities in family members, friends, partners and colleagues? A three-step process for handling, dissolving, and eliminating conflict is discussed in this concise, clear video.

Listen to what Annelies shares:

1) Accept the other person as he/she is:

Recognize that their point of view may differ from yours, and they have a right to their own opinion.

2) Acknowledge their highest qualities as you enter into a conversation:

See their best side and focus on it. As you talk to them, acknowledge their highest and best qualities with sincere words. Approach the issue at hand with grace and positivity. For example, Annelies Richmond says, “You’re amazing and supportive. Would you get behind this? Because you’re a powerful person and this would really be supportive.”

3) Ask for what you want as though no conflict exists:

“Look at what you want going forward,” instructs Annelies. Communicating works best in a style that will dissolve the conflict. Talk as if there’s no conflict and request their cooperation respectfully. If you focus on the conflict, it will grow. So focus on what you want as a solution instead.

When people disagree, as often happens, we don’t have to get upset or add drama to the situation. By following the simple advice in this video, you can dissolve your anxiety and create harmony with others where you once thought there was only conflict.

By Elizabeth Herman - PhD in English, with concentrations in Rhetoric and Composition, and Literature, she offers writing support to clients, teaches locally, lives in Boone, NC, and volunteers for a better world.