By Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar | Posted : January 09, 2019

In our day-to-day lives, there are so many situations where we can get annoyed, and when such things happen, we can either act to change the situation, or we can stay helpless. Invariably, annoyances keep coming up; what we can control is our reaction to them.

You want perfection and it isn’t available. You want someone to do things on time and if they don't, you get frustrated. You want things to be done in the way you want, and if it doesn’t happen, you get disappointed – isn't this the case?

In life, you’ll have 101 reasons to get frustrated. However, it’s up to you keep your energy, harmony, and enthusiasm alive without allowing discontentment to seep in. Here are some pointers to help in dealing with vexation:

#1 If you find any imperfection in another person, don’t get irritated and criticize them; instead volunteer to help them grow.​​

There are some very talented people in the world, but even they have some negative points. Now, if you look only at their minus points, their talents become invisible. When you’re looking for perfection everywhere around, you forget to see the imperfection inside of you. You want everything and everyone else to be perfect, but are you? You have to look for that.

When you gain perfection at something, you’ll stop obsessing about and pointing out the imperfections of others, and instead contribute to their growth – to help them be better.

Everyone has flaws, and everyone has some very good qualities as well. But if you see only flaws, then you’ll miss out on their positive qualities. Nobody can become perfect overnight. It’s a gradual process, and we need to encourage them to get there.

#2 Don’t get too caught up in problems. Know that every problem is temporary.

In the world we inhabit, there’s pleasure and pain. This is the nature of the world. There will always be reasons for you to be upset.

Sometimes it could be the behavior of a family member or friend. If the family is okay, then it could be the neighbors. And if the neighbors are also good, then it could be the dogs on the street who keep barking all night, not letting you sleep. And if that isn’t a problem either and there are no problems, then in yourself you aren’t satisfied. Then you start interfering in the lives of people with real problems, and you try to solve them.

So, this life is very mysterious. That’s why it’s said that this world is maya (an illusion) and we shouldn’t get caught up in it. Because this is what happens – you tend to get caught up in different situations that fill your mind with all kinds of negativities.

#3 Keep your attention focused inwards – on what you are contributing, doing, saying, thinking, feeling.​

Many times, we get caught up in conflicts with others around us – this person did this to me, that person did this to me, and we lash out at others. If this happens, know that you’ve lost your center.

To deal with such frustration, the best way is to keep your attention on yourself. Ask yourself – what’s my contribution to this world? What have I done for others? How useful have I been to the people around me?

If your thoughts are moving inwards like this, then you won’t blame or hurt others. Otherwise, you will always find faults in others and lash out at them.

#4 If you catch yourself complaining, become aware and let go of your complaints. Channel your energy into doing something productive.

People who complain aren’t productive, and people who work hard have nothing to complain about because they’re busy working.

Those who aren’t productive keep finding faults in other people. They find faults in the smallest of things. They’re unable to see the good in other people and this leads to so much exasperation. We must ensure that we don’t let such aggravation seep into us. Keep busy, be productive!

#5 Blame and praise is part of life – don’t let them make you reactive.​

If you live in a society of humans, then it’s only natural that sometimes you’ll receive praise and sometimes blame. Suppose you’re working at a company; you cannot expect your boss to behave in a way that is convenient to you all the time. You want perfection in your boss?!

Suppose you have a boss who has a habit of taunting and has taunted you three to four times. You go ahead and label her/him as “hopeless” and you start behaving in the same manner with her/him. Your perception puts you in a reactive mode. You need to correct your perception, and understand that there’s imperfection in the world.

#6 Accept people and situations as they are, and be centered.​

When you accept that things are how they are and people are the way they are, suddenly you find the witness consciousness inside of you dawning. That makes you feel so centered and deep. This realization doesn't mean that you shouldn’t point out anyone’s mistakes and just keep everything as it is. No!

I was driving on Kannakapura Road in Bangalore, India. I saw garbage on the side of the road and I told my secretary to immediately call the town council. They procured two vans to pick up the garbage and get it done immediately. We must keep acting in this way, but without getting frustrated.

It’s very easy to wash your hands of situations, sit in the corner, and feel, “I don't have anything to do with all of this,” and let things run the way they’re running. And it’s very easy to keep complaining angrily. But the perfect balance lies in taking action by smartly dealing with disappointment.

#7 Consciously choose not to get frustrated, and maintain your inner peace.

We keep getting annoyed with others – this is a common occurrence. But sometimes we also get irritated or dissatisfied with our own self, because of small, insignificant things. Maintaining equanimity is part of yoga – come what may, not letting frustration creep into oneself. Then the intellect and brain function better, and you get ideas on how to handle different situations.

So, don't get exasperated with people and situations, or with yourself because you repeat the same mistakes again and again. Neither will help. This is a very delicate balance – to keep the enthusiasm within you alive, without frustration, and act only when and where it’s needed.