By Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar|Posted: June 12, 2020
You’re sandwiched between the younger generation, the children, and the older people. They pull you in different directions and you don’t know what to do, right?
You’re in a fix! On one side, the children can be rebellious. They want to go out. They’re used to a different lifestyle. On the other hand, you have to sit with the parents and keep them company, listen to them and all their stories. They’re getting bored and the children are getting bored, and they both look toward you for a solution and you have none. So what do you do in this situation? What happens to you normally? You get stressed out.
Sandwiched between generations
On one hand, you’ll shout at your own parents and the elders at home. On the other hand, you scold your children, and in between, you may argue with your spouse. I hope this isn’t the case everywhere, but this situation does arise. When there’s tension from many sides, you express your stress to your very near and dear one, and that’s your spouse!
So, all the stress that you’ve picked up from the market, from work and home, you pour into your near and dear one, and this is where the whole family gets disturbed. Even if one member of a family is unhappy, stressed out, or angry, it can affect the entire family.
Ways back to peace
The peace of the family is gone. We need to find ways back to harmony, so I have a few suggestions that you should try and implement.
Daily family meals. First, get the whole family committed to sit and eat a meal together. One meal a day at least. Now is the time! The whole family is there together. Why doesn't everybody sit together and eat?
Avoid arguments. Second, any point of contention or argument, avoid pursuing at all costs. If you get upset, if you get angry, I would say take a deep breath in and breathe out. Take five deep breaths in and out, and chant ‘om’ three times. Or, any other sound or mantra you want to chant. Wait for 15 seconds. If you do this, then this anger which is coming up in you, like a bubble, like a buzz, it starts cooling down. And to prevent this, avoid arguments.
Postpone problems. Say, “Okay, next month we’ll do that.” Just accept. You know, you don’t have to win all the time. If you win all the time, your kids will get upset. They’ll feel you’re very controlling. And if you try to win all the time, your parents get upset. Respect the elders, and leave some space for the young people.
Use humor. What else can you do to avoid arguments? Sense of humor. We all have a sense of humor. You don’t have to go to a humor class or learn more jokes.
Leave room for imperfection. Know that this time they’re venting out of frustration. The words that have flown from someone’s mouth, hitting your ears, can create turbulence inside of you, and they do! Put a screen, a filter within you. Anger causes more damage to us than others. We’re prone to anger because we want perfection. There are two situations leading to anger. One is people who always expect perfection; they get angry very fast. Second is those who are stressed out. Now, you should avoid getting stressed, number one. Second, leave some room for imperfection. If your mind is calm, you can take things lightly. With humor, you can transform the whole atmosphere at home. Avoid negative discussions, negative remarks. If it comes up, ignore it totally.
Visualize a psychiatric hospital. Often I say to people, you should spend one day in a mental hospital. Do you know why? When people blabber, and when they say something, you don’t take it seriously! You don’t care for it. Consider this. If there’s so much argument in the house, think your house has become a mental asylum. In an extraordinary situation like this, people lose their minds. When they lose their minds, whatever they talk about, they’re not responsible for it and it’s normal. Then, their emotions don’t really throw you off balance. You’ll be like a soldier who can stand up to fight this most unpleasant time, or turn this unpleasant time into your advantage.
Be that bridge between the two generations. Listen to both, and manage people of your own generation as well, all with a sense of humor, with a smile, and with skill!
To develop skills in maintaining harmonious family relationships across generational boundaries, try Beyond Breath - A FREE Breath & Meditation Online Session With a Live Instructor today! It will help with stopping anger and arguments in their tracks.
