By Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar| Posted: May 28, 2020

It’s very important as senior citizens that we remain centered. We don’t react to our in-laws, or our son or daughter’s behavior. 

Don’t feel insulted at all. What is insulting? Some words coming out of somebody’s mouth. They’re saying all of that because they’re so stressed! The biggest problem is seniors feel insulted. They feel hurt. You shouldn’t feel hurt and insulted. Be like diamonds. Even if you put a diamond in mud, it doesn’t get spoiled. 

How to overcome the generation gap

You can be less vulnerable to insults if you just understand that they’ve become sick mentally. Anyone who insults you, know that they’re not in their senses. They’re not sensitive. Why aren’t they sensitive? Because they’re stressed. Any stressed person can’t be sensitive. With this lack of sensitivity, they throw words carelessly, without even looking at the impact their words are having. 

I tell you, even your children have good intentions. Don’t doubt their intentions. They have respect for you. They have love for you. Never question their respect and love for you. But if they say something, even if your daughter-in-law says something, don’t take it to your heart as an insult. 

Advice for a daughter-in-law

One word of advice for daughters-in-law: know your in-laws need love and a sense of belongingness. Every daughter has fought with her mother. But when your mother fights, it doesn’t really hit you. But even if your mother-in-law says one tenth of what your mother would have said, you feel so upset. It just throws you off balance. 

My dear, your mother and your mother-in-law are from the same age group. They’re in the same category. So the way you take your mother-in-law and mother’s comments, you’ve fought with your mother and the next day you go and sit with her. If you behave in this same spirit with your mother-in-law, you can make a difference at home. This is very important. That can keep you going. And it also will give you peace between the generations. 

If you’re sitting and playing bridge, or playing cards all the time. It’s a waste of time, my dear! Time is weighing on you, so you’re killing time. Time is killing you. Don’t waste your time on playing bridge, and all this useless stuff. Put your attention and focus on studying, reading. There’s no end to it. 

Influence the children

So, there are many things your children do which are secondary, and not so important, which you can let go. But on some bigger issues, for instance suppose your son or daughter is taking a big loan which is very difficult, you must advise them. And if they’re adamant and they really want to do it, tell them, “Okay, look. These are the concerns about it. You think about it and you decide.”

Sometimes they don’t listen to you. Your children don’t listen to you. But they’ll listen to another uncle or aunt. Then you call them and ask for their help. Tell the uncle or aunt, “Look, my son is going forward with this investment. I feel it’s very bad.” Someone who is expert in that field, you call them and ask “Why don’t you advise my son? He will take your advice.” 

We have to influence the influencers of your children. Their peers, or other adults, have more influence over your children. So you have to go through those people. This is very important. 

Cooperate together

You must cooperate. Will you cooperate? We’ll all do something together. All of us in the family will do one activity together. So, when you convince people to get into a single activity, it will be very good. For example, everyone can join to cook something. Okay, we’re going to make salad. So each person will cut one vegetable. And you can have a competition about who will cut the fastest without cutting their hand, their finger. Who will cut the first? 

Suppose someone has never cooked at home. We tell them, “Okay, today it’s your duty, you cook. We will all help you.” They may also like it. Why should only the lady of the house cook? One day, ladies say “Okay, I’m not cooking.” Let the man cook that day. She can stand around and say “You cook. I’m going to sit here. What would you like to make?”

See, you can create harmony in the house, in the family, whether many people or few. We can play around. We can make many, many things. These are the ways that we can spend time together. We have energy to do what we want to do. We have sharpness of the mind. Our spirit is alive. All these benefits are there for us.

Our state of the mind can play a big role here. If the mind is happy, calm and clear, it becomes easy to handle any kind of situation. For more ways to create and enhance peace and harmony in your happy family, find out about Beyond Breath - A Free Breath & Meditation Session - Online Session With a Live Instructor.

Read and watch part 1 of the talk here.