By Elizabeth Herman | Posted: July 09, 2020

Are you a funny, adaptable person? If so, you probably relate well with co-workers, at least most of the time, anyway. When doing your best to handle challenges on a team, being a good sport helps lessen others’ stress as well as your own. Way back in the middle of the 20th century, the ancient President Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done." 

During an outdoor conversation with young people, spiritual master Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar talks about being flexible, embracing opposites, and having a good sense of humor. He says, “Human nature is such that we have tremendous adaptability. One who can run, can stop, and one who is standing still can run also. If we forget to use these opposite abilities that we have, then we’re not doing justice to our own lives.” 

People can be like doors which must be able to both open and shut. “A door which can be closed should be opened, and a door which can be opened should be able to close also. Otherwise, there's no use to the door. In the same way, with human existence, we have the ability to work dynamically. At the same time, withdraw from it and be quiet and calm.” 

Adaptability and humor

Gurudev observes his audience, and tells them, “You have the ability to talk, talk, talk, talk and blabber all the time, and you should have the ability to keep shut, because when you keep shut and quiet, only then you listen. You hear; you think. Just imagine if you’re talking all the time. You’re not using your brain! Have you noticed some of your friends who talk, talk, talk and they don’t make any sense?” 

The youngsters in the audience laugh. “They keep blabbering, yes,” they answer.

“They keep blabbering! They don’t listen, right? They don’t even know what they’re talking about,” he says.

One young man responds, “Actually I’m an introverted person so I like to be by myself and think. The house is full of people so it’s so difficult to be around them.”

“First of all, don’t put a label on yourself by saying, ‘I’m an introvert; I’m an extravert.’ If you think you’re an extrovert, you feel so restless just being by yourself. If you think you’re an introvert, you feel so uncomfortable sitting with a few people around you. So for instance, one time you sit and chit chat with people. Why do you have to be an introvert? Your likes and dislikes limit your personality, and create a boundary around you.”

Lightening up without hurt

On how to be adaptable and use humor to go beyond conflict, he says, “If you can make just a little effort to see what it is that you don’t like, try it if it isn’t harmful. How many of you get scared if people make fun of you? All of you get scared? Listen, do you make fun of anybody (laughter)? Suppose nobody makes fun of anybody. Isn’t it dull and boring if nobody makes fun of anybody?”

“Yes,” says someone.

“No jokes can come out at all, right? Suppose nobody makes fun of anybody, would there be any jokes? Do you like jokes? 

“Yes,” several people respond.

“You like fun? Do you make fun of others? See, in making fun of others, you don’t have to hurt them. Fun isn’t always hurtful. It just makes your life lighter. So when you like to make fun of others and have some fun and joke, why wouldn’t you be an object of joy? See, when people make fun of you then you’re giving joy to so many people. Why shouldn’t you be doing that? But we never thought about it.” 

Acceptance of your own imperfections can bring you closer to laughing at yourself. “Suppose you’re a joker. Jokers often make fun of themselves. The most hilarious thing is when a buffoon makes fun of himself. And nobody looks down upon buffoons. Do people look down upon jokers? People love someone who makes fun of themselves! So why can’t you, for a moment, allow others to make fun of you? Why should you always be in a position where you say, ‘Oh, I don’t want to be made fun of.’ Why not? You’re bringing joy to so many and everybody’s laughing. So what? Your dignity’s not going to come down.”

Humor can sail over conflicts

“I’m not telling you that you have to be foolish all the time,” says Gurudev, “but a little bit of foolishness is okay. You don’t have to be a fool all the time, but you don’t have to be wise all the time, too. Why do you need to be? Why do you have to sit on a throne all the time? Come on. We imagine in our mind, ‘Oh, we’re worried about dignity.’ If you’re stuck in dignity, caring for only your image all of the time, I tell you, you’ll be miserable.”

About their future, he warns them, “Situations do arise when people make fun of you. And this is the intelligent thing to do, rather than getting upset because someone said something and made a remark about you. You get angry, upset and yell and shout. In life, if we don’t have humor, we won’t be successful, I tell you. Humor is that something which can sail over all conflicts. It can avoid conflicts in life. It can make your life so much better.” 

“Just imagine, you’ve made a remark about your friend, and it was funny,” harkening back to a joke made earlier in this session. “Everybody laughed. If the person takes it too seriously, as a hurt, and is angry, he or she might want revenge on you. Would you like it? So many friendships are lost this way, unintentionally. In a lighter mood, you say something funny and everybody laughs, but the epicenter of that joke is hurt and becomes your enemy. Would you like that? Similarly, when you become the epicenter of others’ jokes, why should you be so upset? Got it?”

“Yes!” All the listeners answer in unison. 

“If we can let go of this rigidity, we’ll be good communicators, and if you’re a good communicator, you’re bound to be successful,” he assured them. Seeing yourself as one source of others’ joy and laughter, you too can lift the mood in any tense situation, by joining in and laughing at yourself. In addition, this approach to humor moves you further towards true leadership. 

To learn more about communicating with humor and using opposite abilities, check out Beyond Breath - A FREE Breath & Meditation Online Session With a Live Instructor. Like former President Eisenhower (may he rest in peace), the skills being offered can help you sail through life!

Elizabeth Herman writes, offers writing support to clients, teaches, and volunteers for a better world. She has a PhD in Rhetoric, Composition and Literature. Find her on Facebook or Twitter.