How can one become the person everyone likes to be around? Can you please share 5 tips?

1) Stop judging others. If you want to be liked, the first thing you should do is stop judging others. Someone who passes judgments about others all the time is never liked. So look back and see how often you’re judging others.

2) Stop being desperate for attention. The second thing is wanting attention and recognition from others will also stop you from being liked. Do what you need to do. Don’t look for recognition from others. Then, you’ll be liked by everybody, because you’re not looking for someone’s approval for your work. Just imagine there’s someone in front of you who’s trying to draw your attention all the time, who expects you to recognize them. Would you like it? How many of you say you wouldn’t like it? Raise your hand if someone is wanting to draw your attention all the time. Someone wants you to recognize them. Tell them “Oh, you did this. Oh, you brought me 10 bananas the other day.” Who remembers? Someone would have brought 10 bananas to you and would have given 12 back to others. Do you remember? Do you keep having such a memory? No. So stop wanting attention and recognition from others. Then you’ll be liked by people. 

3) Don’t brood over the past. Don’t dig into the past and ask others for explanations. If you’re riding on others’ mistakes or pointing fingers at others and showing them mistakes again and again, then also people don’t like you so much. Don’t you think so? Do you like to be with someone who always makes you feel guilty? No! You stop making others feel guilty.

4) Don’t one-up people. Stop showing one upmanship in dealing with others. Don’t make them feel that you are bigger and better than them. Trying to show that is detrimental for your relations with others. They might recognize greatness in you. That’s a different issue. They may see that you’re very wise. Let them do that. But you trying to show them makes them feel small. You feel that you’re better than them through one upmanship. That won’t make others like you so much. 

5) Be honest. Then, honesty. Don’t be too sweety-sweety, wiggly-wiggly, or goody-goody. When you do that, people see through it. If you’re honest, straightforward, and at the same time not rude, that helps. Many times, people who are straightforward think that rudeness is straightforwardness. Often, people who are rude go under the garb of straightforwardness. “I’m a plain speaker. I’m straightforward so I’ll speak on the face of things.” This type of arrogance or rudeness isn’t what people appreciate. If you want to have better relationships with others, be honest and straightforward, but not rude. That’s a very fine and delicate balance. If you can do that skillfully, then nobody will dislike you.

And stop wanting them to like you. You should stop wanting recognition from others. Wanting others to recognize you is detrimental for your chance at good relationships. 

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Editor’s note:

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