In response to questions about why people might not be happy, Gurudev shared the following insights on the three types of misery:

Memory of pleasure causes misery 

Your memory of the pleasures and the glories you have had makes you depressed and unhappy now. 

You’ve become so old, yet you don’t want to let go of your position. People rent houses, and when they leave, they don’t leave it in nice condition at all. They ransack it and leave it in bad shape. There’s pain in leaving a house or a position.

Once I met with an ex-president of a country who had just retired a couple of days before. He invited me to bless his home. I said “Okay.” 

Then he asked his staff member to bring tea, milk, juice, or something for everybody. Obviously, there was a delay for the server to go get this, and this president took it so personally. He said “When I was president he would bring things immediately. Now, even my servants don’t respect me! Nobody cares for me now!” 

This isn’t true. It’s all in the mind. I just smiled and told him that respect should come from your character, ability, and behavior, not your position.

Our identity from some joy, position, or status makes us miserable. You had pleasure, but the impact of it comes from the fact that it’s gone. An ex-girlfriend might remember her ex, but he’s married now and having a great time with someone else. Or, you’re an older athlete and you can’t play your sport like you used to. Your body’s not allowing that to happen. This is a memory of pleasure. 

Misery because of the current situation 

You’re boiling with anger, hatred, or jealousy. All of this is the current moment making you unhappy. Or you have a physical ailment that makes you miserable. You might have a fight with someone close to you. These are all examples of how the present moment or situation could be making someone unhappy.

Memory of past misery makes you unhappy 

The misery has gone, but the memory, or the seeds of the misery, are still there.

Some people have a habit of being miserable, upset, and sad for no reason. You may find it in kids. Parents pamper them and still they cry. 

Masochism is part of this. You find joy in being sad. When you cried at a young age, you got a lot of attention. The attention made you feel better. In your subconscious, you may think that only if you’re sad you’ll get attention. 

But who would want to be with somebody who has a habit of being miserable? 

An intelligent person says, “When unpleasant moments are over, they leave an impression. That impression causes misery.” Whether pleasant or unpleasant events come, whether you’re rich or poor, when all those impressions are on your consciousness, they only cause misery. 

If you’re hanging onto fame, money, position, company, or relationship, they can all cause you misery. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have them. 

Nobody causes your misery. Your own identification does. There’s a beautiful proverb that says there’s no giver of misery or happiness. They are both of your own making. 

The purpose of yoga and spirituality is to stop misery before it happens.      

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ONLY 3 Reasons Why You're NOT HAPPY | HILARIOUS & Eye Opening Wisdom | Gurudev

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