By Elizabeth Herman | Posted: March 11, 2020
Do you regret losing your temper at others? There have been times when I have felt so much anger that I couldn’t stop myself from swearing and yelling at people. But that behavior has not helped any of my relationships.
During several of Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s talks, participants ask about possibilities for creating positive change in their lives. For example, in the following brief video, a participant asks the following question: “How can I change my personality? How can I change my nature? I’m very short tempered and no matter how hard I try I still get angry during an argument and say very bad and hurtful things to my partner even though I don’t mean it. You said the sun always shines as it is in the sun’s nature.”
Change and your nature
“Look back and see,” says Gurudev. “Have you not changed? Has your nature not been changed? Your behavior hasn’t changed? First of all I will tell you, don’t think this is your nature. If you think getting angry is your nature, it’s not going to change.”
“But if it’s a pattern or a habit in you, it can definitely change,” continues Gurudev. “You need to do more meditation and more advanced (silence) courses. You know, for paint to stay on a wall sometimes you need several coats. One coat isn’t enough. Two coats aren’t enough. And if it’s exposed to the weather, you need to keep coating it several times, maybe every year.”
With silence retreats several times a year, you can renew the calmness of your mind. “Like that, you need more training. And look back and see. Has the intensity of your anger been reduced or not? Ask this question of yourself.” Gurudev asks everyone to reflect back on how they used to respond to feelings of anger, to see the changes that have already taken place as they have become more consistent meditators.
“Even now, you get angry, no doubt, but that intensity isn’t the same. At least now, you’re aware. At least now, you regret. Before you weren’t. Isn’t it? Look at these points. You’ve improved. Definitely improved.” Although spiritual practices can’t completely eliminate negative emotions like anger, they can give you insight into how damaging intense emotional reactions can be. “In this path, if you’ve walked 10 steps ahead, you can come back 7 steps but not all 10 steps. There’s an improvement. Believe in that. Notice it and believe in it.”
Why people resist change
Change isn’t an easy process for many people, whether they’re on the spiritual path or not. In offering them ways to change for the better, Gurudev recognizes that their inner resistance comes from their fear: “People resist change because they are afraid that they would lose something precious, or the change could bring about a disaster for them. But if you communicate to them that the change would make them better, they would definitely take it. Nobody dislikes climbing up a ladder. People do want something positive, more happiness or whatever.”
Helping people see that positive change can happen for them is a communication challenge for all of the teachers he has trained. About the purpose of Art of Living, Gurudev asserts that “What we need to do is to communicate better with them, speak in their language, and explain that change will make things better. It will take some time; it cannot happen overnight because it takes some persuasion but it does happen.” With courage and leadership in many languages, Gurudev and Art of Living have brought positive change to millions around the world.
Change and non-violence
Sometimes spiritual masters encounter violence but don’t react with anger. This forms part of their teaching. Gurudev tells stories about Buddha responding to violence with smiles and compassion. He talks about why Jesus’s teaching to turn the other cheek can diffuse someone else’s anger. He also tells of an instance where a man almost attacked him, but stopped and started crying when Gurudev responded by simply saying, “Wait.”
One of the purposes of these lessons in non-violence is to show that a person can change their karma (actions and the resulting reactions) by stopping themselves from reacting with anger. There’s a combination of free will and destiny in life, as Gurudev recounts, and we must recognize the part that can be changed by our free will to bring hope to any difficult situation.
To learn more about changing your life for the better, find a Happiness Program or Sahaj Samadhi meditation course near you.
Elizabeth Herman writes, offers writing support to clients, teaches, and volunteers for a better world. She has a PhD in Rhetoric, Composition and Literature. Find her on Facebook or Twitter.
