By Elizabeth Herman | Posted: July 30, 2019
You don’t need to lose your freedom and lightness in a relationship, even when it goes deeper and becomes more committed. In a short talk, Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar answers questions about how to maintain an ongoing relationship and not have it become heavy and burdensome
Watch the video and get a better sense of this wisdom on relationships:
Both must give, not take
A simple principle of generosity in friendship naturally applies to new couples as well. “A relationship should come from a space of contributing, not demanding. Then, it will be nurturing,” he says. “But if every relationship is based on what each can get from the other, then it’s going to be very disturbing.”
The talk continues to describe how “When you start from this attitude, I’m going to be part of this person, contribute whatever I can for this person’s life,” that relieves their burden and makes your partner feel freedom and lightness. Your role is to support the other person, not drag them down expecting them to provide for your needs.
Look towards a mutual goal
He goes further to state that individuals in couples should focus on the same goal as their partners, rather than keeping their gaze on the other person. “If both of you have one goal, instead of two lines that meet and cross, you move parallel to one another. You can continue for a long time that way.”
Refrain from judging and policing the other person, thus giving each other freedom. Focus on one goal, help to grow your progress towards that ultimate purpose you both share, and “then the relationship can go on much more smoothly.”
Overcome the world’s challenges, not your partner’s faults
But if you go the other way and constantly scrutinize your partner’s behavior, you’re bound to find faults and create conflict. It’s much better to work together and criticize those obstacles that both of you face in the world, keeping your eyes on the larger purpose that brings you closer together.
For instance, if both of you want world peace, you can work on that together, and focus on all the ways you can contribute to it. If both of you want sustainability and a safe, clean environment for future generations, you can share information with each other on how to achieve that.
These overall goals will bring you challenges that’ll be healthy for your relationship to overcome. You don’t have to constantly work on making your partner perfect, because you have other big things to do.
To learn more about sustaining a relationship that is healthy and constructive, find the Art of Living Happiness Program, or Sri Sri Yoga, or Sahaj Samadhi course near you.
By Elizabeth Herman - PhD in English, with concentrations in Rhetoric and Composition, and Literature, she offers writing support to clients, teaches locally, lives in Boone, NC, and volunteers for a better world.
