By Sejal Shah
Want to release yourself from suffering? Learn how to transcend the ego with these 5 powerful spiritual practices from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
How many times we have read this, or heard this, or felt this as a constant struggle…transcend your ego... your ego is the source of suffering...
Many of us would have loved to do that if we knew what the ego was in the first place! When we try to understand the human psyche, indeed ego seems a complex thing. Sigmund Freud, the great psychoanalyst divided the psyche into 3 parts: the id, ego, and superego. Some people also have difficulty in understanding the healthy boundary between self-esteem and ego.
Learning ego transcendence or letting go of your ego sounds very easy in theory, however, can be very difficult to execute in real-life situations.
History is full of many examples of leaders (such as Napoleon, Stalin, Hitler, Alexander the Great) who were driven by ego to gain power—and who ultimately landed in ruin. And history also gives examples of individuals (like Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and many more) who fought their egos at every turn, who put their higher goals above their desire for recognition.
To answer some of the common questions on ego, here is a compilation of various talks on ego by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a global spiritual master.
What is ego?
Ego is not being natural, not feeling at home, and not having a sense of belongingness. Ego is separateness, non-belongingness. It is wanting to prove and to possess.
Ego doesn’t let the love flow. This is what creates tension and problems within you. It makes you stiff, it makes you suffer, and brings tears to your eyes. Ego causes heaviness, discomfort.
When is there ego?
- When you don't get attention.
- When you seem to be losing attention.
- When you get attention
Isn’t ego essential?
Ego is essential till a certain stage of growth, but then it must be transcended.
It’s like a caterpillar. A caterpillar intends to fly high, but it winds itself into a cocoon; it does just the opposite of flying. But then, it comes out of the cocoon as a butterfly and flies high. In the same way, at the age of two, you get into a shell of ego, and you grow in it.
Once you cross a certain age, you realize that all that you went through as a teenager—all the uproar and emotional upheavals—have dropped from you and you have started smiling from a different space. You have become mature. At this time, the ego has to be dropped, and it drops if the growth is balanced and perfect.
If our growth is imbalanced, then our mental growth does not go beyond the age of 15 or 16. You may have come across many people who have grown physically, but their mind is still between 15 to 20 years of age. This is a fact.
You know, how school-going children say, “My teacher is better than your teacher”, “My mother is better than your mother”, or “My things are better than your things”. Don’t you see this? Some people stick to this even as they get older. There are so-called mature people in high positions that say, “My country is better than your country” and “My state is better than your state”.
If you listen carefully, you can see such smallness in people’s attitudes. I tell you, this is not essential.
Ego creates this fear in you – what will the others think about me? Are they respecting me or not? Ego gives importance to someone else’s thoughts, which are momentary in any case. Ego needs the other person to be there. All alone by yourself, your ego falls off. That is why a very egoistic person is either very comfortable being alone, or very uncomfortable being alone. They want someone else to express their ego, or because they are so tired of expressing themselves all the time and nothing has worked, they like to be alone. If you are natural, you don’t mind if there are people or if there are no people, because you are the same. Egoistic people are different in different companies.
Does ego help in any way?
There is also a positive aspect of the ego. It drives one to do some work. A person will do a job either out of compassion or out of ego. Most of the work in society is by boosting the ego. But in Satsang (company of truth or like-minded people), work is done out of love.
Ego makes you sacrifice yourself for a cause. Ego gives strength and courage and brings valor to meet challenges with endurance and perseverance. A strong ego will counteract depression. The ego is often considered selfish but it is the greatest motivating factor for creativity and generosity. Ego propels you to venture into the unknown.
3 types of ego
There are three types of ego – sattvic, rajasic, and tamasic.
- Tamasic ego is barbaric, blind, and self-destructive.
- Rajasic ego is self-centered and causes misery to oneself and others.
- Sattvic ego is creative and has protective tendencies.
If you cannot surrender it, at least have a sattvic ego, as a sattvic ego is always ready to sacrifice.
Some say drop the ego, some say destroy it. I say, let the ego stay in your pocket. If you say you have dropped the ego, it becomes a very big ego. Let the limited ego dissolve in the Universal ego. Bhagavad Gita has elaborated on this in great detail. From tamasic and rajasic come to the sattvic ego. The sattvic ego automatically dissolves into Brahman in the state of samadhi. (As I understand, probably this is the path to spiritual awakening or enlightenment).
Is there a relationship between ego and possessiveness?
Yes. Ego, possessiveness, jealousy, anger, greed are all linked. They are linked to the ego. And when you wake up and see there is nothing to be proved and nothing to possess, ego dissolves.
A story about Mullah Nasruddin
Ego means that you are trying to impress others. You need the ‘other’ for the ego to be there. When you are alone in a place, there cannot be any ego. Ego pops up when the other is there.
Once Mullah Nasruddin went to Calgary. When he went to Calgary, he was honored there in a very big way, but none of his friends were there to watch that, and unfortunately, no one had a video camera.
People were giving so many compliments and praises to Mullah, while Mullah was searching the whole crowd to see whether there was someone from Turkey, his hometown, or anywhere nearby. He thought: even a German would do! He even asked on the mic, “Are there any Germans here?” Nobody raised their hand.
Then he asked, “Anyone who is French?” No one raised their hand.
Suddenly Mullah became very sad, he said, “I am so unfortunate – all this honor and praise and not a single person from my home town to hear it.”
Ego wants recognition – recognition from people in front of whom you want to show off. In an unknown place, when strangers compliment you, you don’t value it much.
Such an ego needs to be superseded or transcended. You have to go further. The cocoon has to be broken and you have to come out with flying colors. That is going back to innocence; that is going back to the Self.
How to transcend the ego?
Now, don’t try to eradicate or erase the ego. Just be aware of it and just let go. Just don’t do anything about it (your awareness of it is good enough). Your trying to erase the ego becomes a problem. Actually, the solution is very simple.
5 spiritual practices to transcend the ego
1. Act crazy.
The tendency of the ego is to say “I am not crazy, I am proper.” Just agree to be crazy and act like a crazy person for one day. Then your job is done! Make people believe you have gone completely crazy.
2. Be like a child, natural.
If you are like a child, if you are natural and feeling at home, that is the best antidote to ego.
Ego cannot sustain or survive when naturalness takes over, and when you feel at home with everybody. Naturalness is the antidote for you. Be spontaneous! The ego cannot stand spontaneity. Ego wants to present everything properly and prepare beforehand. Children are so spontaneous. They make mistakes and they never mind making mistakes. Just be like a child. Let anybody say anything about you.
3. Expand your ego.
One is a Transparent Ego (being childlike); the other is an Expanded Ego. Both mean the same.
The Expanded Ego means everyone is included, everyone belongs to me, having a sense of belongingness with everyone. I am everything.
So, either pump your ego and make it very big or transform it with simple acts of simplicity and innocence. Both make the ego transparent.
4. Be one who has attained the essence.
When you see yourself as a witness, separate from ego, then no person or situation can shake you.
When people laugh at you, can you relax? When people point at you, just relax. Smile and accept it. A mother has no ego. Whatever the children say, she accepts. If they kick, does the mother get perturbed? If you are unperturbed, you have conquered the ego. Ego is just a feeling of having a wall between you and others. When there is no wall, you belong to me and I belong to you. You are accepted the way you are.
5. Self - inquiry.
Ego can be transcended by knowing the Truth; by inquiring "Who am I?"
Apart from this, keep the ego. Don’t try to get rid of it overnight. Do this slowly. Otherwise, it is impossible.
What is the solution to an ego clash?
When egos are there, they do clash. There is no way out. When there is wisdom, you will rise above any small-minded attitude, bickering, and judgments.
You judge people all the time, and if you turn back and look at your own judgments, 80 to 90% of the time they will be wrong. Sometimes people start to send a message and before the other person gets it, they retract it. How many of you have done that? You type a message to send to someone, and something tells you that this is not okay and so you retract it. How many of you do this? This shows how poor your judgments are.
We create a huge cloud around what is not even close to the truth. You hold grudges against people, you have concepts about people and you get yourself trapped in them. You must wake up from this. You know, if your time is good, your worst enemy behaves like a friend, and if your times are bad, your closest friend behaves like an enemy. So, your luck or time is totally responsible for your friends and enemies. Your karma is responsible for what you go through. So, you should take your mind away from judging others and bring it to yourself.
Often people who complain that others have a big ego, have a big ego themselves. Often those who complain others are rude, are rude themselves. You should reflect on yourself. See, you can’t correct others, but others give you a chance to correct yourself.
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There are 7 levels to human beings' existence. Body, Breath, Mind, Intellect, Ego, Memory, and Self. When there is harmony between all these 7 levels, we experience inner peace, joy, higher truth, present moment, and real freedom. Stresses of daily life disrupt this harmony and keep us away from the divine reality. SKY Breath Meditation helps release deep-rooted stress in the system, connects us to the true self, and helps create positive vibes and a sense of connection with self and others. We start feeling at home and natural with everyone around us.
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Lastly, I would like to end this article with a beautiful quote by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
“Even if you win in ego, it is a loss. Even if you lose in love, it's a victory!”
Sejal Shah, E-RYT 500 Sri Sri Yoga Teacher, YACEP, C-IAYT, Meditation Teacher, SKY Instructor, NYU Post Graduate Medical School approved Yoga-CME retreat facilitator, Mind-Body Wellness Writer, Homeopath. She can be followed on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
