By Elizabeth Herman | Posted: August 30, 2019
You may remember children you were afraid of when you were in school. But do you have fears that you associate with any of your co-workers? Research shows that employees leave their jobs once someone bullies them, at a rate of 82%, with 44% citing bad evaluations by malicious supervisors, and 38% citing health problems.
Bullying behavior can seem so unnecessary sometimes. If you’re friendly and non-threatening, and successful at the same time, it’s difficult to predict when an innocent greeting may suddenly cause jealousy and resentment in someone else. Unforeseen competition, as well stresses from workplace or outside pressures, and a number of other factors can lead to bullying.
This problem is so pervasive in the U.S. that 61% of Americans are aware of situations involving workplace abuse, and 60 million of us have endured the effects of workplace bullying.
What’s bullying?
While childhood bullying often involves physical aggression, the adult workplace bully frequently uses verbal and psychological tactics to control and vanquish his or her perceived enemies. But any type of bullying is still bullying.
A bully will persistently behave in an objectionable way, to intimidate and humiliate others for the sake of personal power and politics. At work, this could mean excluding someone from social groups, attacking the value of their work, or blocking their access to deserved rewards, among other abusive acts. Sexual harassment is a very common form of bullying and can escalate to physical assault if not promptly and effectively addressed.
Sometimes a target of bullying doesn’t even know that the problem exists until the bully gets caught, and sometimes they discover it too late to save their position. This results in turnover, health problems, loss of productivity, and other workplace issues that employers pay dearly for, unless they root out and proactively stop the bullying.
Effects of workplace bullying
Dr. Judith Fisher-Blando lists the following ways in which the target of a bully can lose productivity, including through job dissatisfaction, mental health, and physical stress symptoms.
Depression
Absenteeism
Job loss
Traumatic stress disorder
Headaches
Sleep disturbance
Hypertension
Ulcers
Fatigue
She also notes that many bullies share common negative traits, such as isolation, blame, envy, criticism, control and gossip. Traits that the targets of bullies often share tend to be more positive, and include intelligence, popularity, niceness, justice and ethics. These descriptions should make it easier for both managers and new employees to recognize the potential for bullying situations among different types of colleagues, even before they flare up.
How to respond to bullying
Here are some suggestions on how to respond to bullying behaviors.
Treat it as a game. By not taking the bully too seriously, you can sometimes diffuse the fear and disarm the other person. Appreciating their strategies and playing with them can lighten up the mood and make everyone involved feel less tense and stressed. As Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar advises, “stay on a higher pedestal – smiling, laughing, accommodating, and accepting politics. Let politics be there, so what? You have to create confidence that you’ll move through it.”
Stop being a victim. Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, “No one can treat you badly without your permission.” If they say something hurtful, you can act as though you’re deaf. If they continue, move your attention to friendly colleagues and supervisors, and develop good relationships with them.
Learn some strategies from experts. The Workplace Bullying Institute offers a 2.5 hour tutorial that answers many questions from targets of workplace bullying. Their website contains links to other seminars, blogs, and videos that offer methods geared to specific workplaces, such as universities, corporations, and public service agencies.
Document every event. Keep a written journal on any problematic relationship, by noting down what bullying behaviors you observe. Also, note your own emotional reactions, and how another person’s abusive behaviors affect your work on a consistently ongoing basis.
List your own and others’ needs and ways to meet them. Prepare yourself to address your own and others’ needs by reflectively writing about them before communicating them to a supervisor or colleague. If you need to schedule a regular yoga and meditation session at the office to help your team, you could take that on as a positive new project.
Personal assertiveness. Speak up actively when necessary to call out the behaviors that are causing your work to suffer. Schedule a meeting for conflict resolution so all parties can discuss candidly what the options are for improving the workplace environment. Listen to others’ points of view, and express your own point of view honestly and constructively.
Conflict resolution. Before bullying happens, find out your workplace’s policies on conflict among team members, and prepare yourself to follow procedures. Once a problem occurs, communicate to the best of your ability, rather than internalizing your stress and causing self-harm. If no attempted solution works out and no other option exists, leave the job behind to protect and care for your own health.
All the best on finding and creating a healthy work environment for yourself. If you persist, you can meet your own needs and develop productive relationships among your colleagues.
Elizabeth Herman writes, offers writing support to clients, teaches, and volunteers for a better world. She has a PhD in Rhetoric, Composition and Literature.
