By Dr. Robert Glatter
Mental weakness can make you irritable, block your personal and professional success, and keep you from growing as a person. Here’s how to beat it.
Are you bristling at the title? If so, that’s ok! No one wants to think of themselves as mentally weak, or even having a weakness be it a mental weakness or a physical weakness. It sounds like such an insult! And yet, whether we like it or not, many of us have weaknesses in our psyche. Just like with our bodies, we all have certain body parts or particular ailments that we’re more prone to.
Being “mentally weak” doesn’t make you a bad person. It also doesn’t mean you are weak or feeble. Really what it points to is; behaviors you learned to survive, and/or mental strategies you were never taught.
Much of what can be classified as mental weakness, more points to a wounded, childishness. Impulsivity, anger, trying to always appear strong and in control. If this is you, chances are there was a time in your life when you had to be stronger than you were, or where weakness was harshly punished so you learned these behaviors to cope and survive.
So, with that in mind, let’s have a look at mental weakness and what you can do to increase your mental strength in a way that is healthy, and makes room for vulnerability, intimacy, and connection.
In general, the majority of the people appear to act tough on the outside while attempting to hide their weaknesses. The way we behave does not define how mentally strong we are. However, it does carry a lot of signs that might indicate the state of your mental health. Physical fitness doesn't define mental health. Rather, certain actions and habits indicate how mentally strong a person actually is. Acting tough may help a person satisfy the ego for the short-term--however, it has a longer-lasting harmful effect. According to research conducted at Rutgers University, most men tend to act tough, and they are aware of it. This study further explained that some people tend to be unaware of the fact that they are mentally weak.
Being mentally weak doesn't indicate social stigma or an unavailing weakness. Instead, hiding flaws, anxiety, and illness make a person suffer for longer. Therefore, instead of acting strong and hiding your impaired mental health or a mental illness, you should work on yourself to make yourself physically and mentally strong simultaneously. If you are among those who perceive themselves to be physically strong but mentally weak, then you should take a closer look at this article.
In this article, we are aiming to identify the signs that indicate that you are physically strong but mentally weak. Thus, the goal of this post is to help you overcome your mental weakness in a healthy, stable, and long-lasting way.
Signs that you’re mentally weak
1. Feeling envious of others' achievements
Success tends to attract jealousy. However, some people are more affected by this jealousy than is reasonable, perceiving the success of others as an indication that the world hasn't bestowed the same courtesies and opportunities to them.
The reason for getting jealous of others' achievements might be their own perceived failures, or not accomplishing what they want. It might also be possible that people get envious of others' success when they fail to understand the dedication and hard work required of these people. Regardless of the intensity of envy one possesses, one should always stress getting rid of this habit as soon as possible.
2. A tendency to anger quickly
Some people are inherently calm and don't get angry easily, whereas some people are quick to anger. One reason for getting angry could be that they associate their successes or failures with their personality, both on a professional and intellectual level. They might be living in a constant state of stress or tension, which leads to outbursts. Such people are stuck in their minds all the time and aren't able to come out of their heads. When somebody challenges them professionally or intellectually, they act like they are above it all.
However, they are in actuality mentally weaker and get angry and frustrated when they are unable to face the situation. We don't often think of angry people as being emotional, but anger is also an emotion. Life is all about dealing with the ups and downs, to be patient come what may.
It's you who will decide how to deal with both. It’s better to be positive and to try to get the best out of unpleasant situations. If you develop a habit of getting angry quickly, then it's better to get rid of it as soon as possible to become a strong person. Take care of those around you rather than taking your anger out on them.
3. A reluctance to venture out of your comfort zone
Have you ever come across people who don't want to come out of their comfort zone? This can be another symptom of mental weakness.
Unfortunately, many people tend to set a comfortable limit for themselves. People with a weak mentality often find it challenging to go beyond their comfort zone, it causes great stress and anxiety. These people are afraid of change; hence they don't understand and believe in the idea that change is constant. Since our mind and body experience change on a daily basis, if one doesn't challenge their limits, they are likely to progress with a negative effect, i.e., a decrease in their mental and physical abilities.
Not coming out of their comfort zone and taking risks indicates that they are mentally weak: they may desire to achieve a lot, but fail to do so due to their self-made cage in the form of their comfort zone. Therefore, if you want to achieve something more significant at the intellectual and professional level, you must have the courage to come out of your comfort zone, and in doing so increase your mental strength.
4. Trying to dominate others
People with a weak mentality try to be the dominant personality in every group they are in. They focus on others' weaknesses by presenting themselves as superior. This is like a counter defense move. If you focus on other peoples’ weaknesses, yours are less likely to be noticed. And, if you’re the one in control, then no one can hurt you, right?
Or maybe you had a very dominating and domineering parent or caregiver, and this was the only model of authority that you experienced, so you just copied what you saw, vowing never to be weak, and to always be strong.
Wouldn’t it be nicer to be able to appreciate and collaborate with those around you, rather than always having to win? To not see those around you as a threat and to be able to lift them up. Try giving compliments or letting people know they’ve done a good job. We all like (and even need) to receive positive feedback, so if you can be a little less competitive and a little more collaborative you will be improving your mental strength. Like anything it takes practice. You're training your "Compliments Muscle" and it can take time.
5. Masking your insecurities
Masking insecurities is one of the dominant habits of people who act tough. With their tough exterior, they tend to cover their insecurities and shortcomings by saying “I can do everything” or “I'm the best.” However, behind that cover, there is often a significant amount of self-doubt.
This masking can make you feel like a fraud, and then you’re always trying to hide your insecurities. This can lead to real problems. Issues in relationships don’t get sorted out, or you don’t ask for help at work and end up making mistakes. If you can’t acknowledge a weak spot and ask for help, it stays there. Rather than spending so much energy hiding the insecurity, asking for help will solve the issue at hand, and free up a lot of energy! It will help you in the long run, and the fatigue of having to hide your weakness is exhausting!
People with a strong mentality tend to improve their shortcomings, rather than concealing them with a tough exterior.
6. Not giving yourself a margin of failure
Not considering failure as an option will not help you to prevent the failures; instead, it hinders you from trying in the first place.
Sometimes we’re so scared to fail that we don’t even try. And this makes life very small. Maybe you had to be perfect as a child, or any mistake was harshly punished. You had to live up to your parents’ high standards and anything less than perfect was a failure.
This kind of perfectionism makes us a mentally weak person in the sense that we can’t handle not being perfect, and are prone to overreact to perceived failures, or just not take risks. It makes us tend to showcase preexisting abilities and be scared of trying something new. Whereas people with a strong mentality see their failures as a stepping stone towards achievements. They work hard and trust in their skills to bounce back from their shortcomings.
Try doing something new. Something you’re not good at. It doesn’t have to be too big, and you certainly don’t have to be a master at it. Try painting just for fun. Or doing yoga just for fun. Even reading a book just for fun and not for education or research purposes. Let “Just for fun” be a new feature of your life!
7. Being overly concerned about how others see you
People with a weak mentality are the ones who are the most concerned about how others see them, and this is another symptom associated with having a mental health issue. They focus on their appearance and the opinions of people regarding them, perhaps even leading to depression or developing a health disorder. They view their self-worth as defined by others. It’s constantly looking for external validation when really that validation should come from inside.
This can lead to you doing what everyone else wants you to do. Following the trends but having no idea what you like. Or people-pleasing, because other people liking you feels so important, and the idea of someone not liking you feels awful.
Mentally strong people don't invest time in trying to prove themselves better than others. Moreover, they aren't worried about what others think about them. They are always evolving towards a better version of themselves.
What happens if your opinion is the one that matters. You like these shoes, so you’ll wear them. You don’t actually want to go out to that dinner, you’d rather stay home rather than dragging yourself out. Care more about your own internal validation than what others think.
The bottom line: Your mental health is in your hands
In conclusion, many of these indications of mental weakness tie back into your mental health: your security, your inner peace, and your happiness. If you see yourself as mentally weak, you can change: it all depends on your mindset. Developing healthy habits like meditation and yoga will do wonders in strengthening your mind and your self-worth.
There's nothing to be ashamed of. You can become a mentally strong person, and overcome these challenges.
To get started, you might like to see a mental health professional. As outlined, many of these behaviors come from traumatic and painful experiences, so there's no shame in getting help. If you had a muscle weakness you might see a personal trainer. Think of it as building your mental muscle.
If you're looking for a way to support your mental health journey, check out Beyond Breath, a free workshop that will show you how just by breathing you can overcome an anxiety disorder, depression, anxiety, stress, fatigue, and so much more.
If you're having psychological difficulties learning these simple techniques will really help you.
Beyond Breath is a free workshop, and you will enjoy a guided meditation, a breathing technique, and be able to find out more about how your breath can change your life.
Dr. Robert Glatter is a certified Emergency Medicine physician, adviser/editor to Forbes, Medscape Emergency Medicine, and an affiliate of WebMD. He has a keen interest in public health education. Follow him on Twitter.
