Not used to being loved. First, the silent vibration of love can make you run away if you aren't used to it.
Ego. The second possibility is that the ego thinks, “Whenever I get something, I have to give something.” That's programmed into us, and the mind says, “No, I don't want to give anything.” In a subtle way, the mind starts withdrawing.
We are all one. Then, there's the ignorance of not knowing we’re all one. There's nowhere to run or go.
Fear of being judged. There's a concern that we might not be accepted. This concern was ingrained during childhood. Parents put so much pressure on their children to be perfect, saying, “You should do this, and this, and this.” Then, the child starts rebelling and wants to run away. That pattern made us feel we were not perfect. But we want to be. We're not natural the way we are, but we want to be something else to show off. So if you're not well dressed, you can't be in front of people. You have to be well dressed. You have to behave a certain way. The child is never allowed to be natural.
We've been programmed, programmed, and programmed, but the mind wants to be free from programming.
Acceptance can be a problem
In Art of Living, our first principle is to ‘accept people as they are.’ The biggest mistake was accepting people as they were because we then couldn't say anything to change anyone. Our mouths were sealed. If you're unreasonable or reasonable or lack etiquette, you're accepted. That's our big problem.
To catch a thief
At the Bangalore Ashram, a lot of people come and go. Once, suddenly, people were missing things from their rooms. Somebody was breaking in when everyone was blissfully at Satsang.
Laptops, phones, jewelry, and everything else would simply disappear! People were supposed to lose their worries and tensions, but they were losing their things instead, everything from slippers to umbrellas.
Then, one day, we found a pregnant woman who was breaking a lock. The police were called, but later, they asked if we could keep her at the Ashram.
We said yes and took care of her. The next day, I said that they should have sat and spoken with her, asking what the problem was and what she wanted.
Freedom and natural etiquette
When we say accept people as they are, we're caught! But that's my problem, not yours. Just be free.
From childhood we're ingrained and told to do this and don't do that, etc. It feels restrictive, doesn't it?
Here, on the course, you can shout, yell, roll, stand on your head, etc. Nobody minds. But when you go away, you have to have etiquette—not feel it as a burden, but make it your nature.
You have to have certain mannerisms. But how? They should be natural to you, not imposed on you.
You won’t be judged.
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Editor’s note:
To experience Gurudev’s ancient secret to modern well-being, SKY Breath Meditation (Sudarshan Kriya) for yourself, register for the Art of Living Part 1. SKY has helped millions of people worldwide improve all aspects of their lives.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Founder, Art of Living, is a world-renowned spiritual leader, peacemaker, and master of meditation. You can follow him on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.