Defining compassion
“When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.” This quote from Kristin Neff, Ph.D. expresses the importance of self-compassion in daily life.
Compassion is a trait that most people aspire to have, but what is it really? While the definition can vary from person to person, most of us can agree that compassion is a concern for others. However, it’s also important to be kind to yourself, and learning compassion can help you do just that.
In some traditions, compassion is a primary quality that practitioners are encouraged to cultivate. However, there are different kinds of compassion, such as that which we feel towards ourselves and the compassion we feel towards others. Whether you partake in such traditions or just want to develop more compassion, you probably have the following questions in mind:
- How can I be compassionate?
- What does it take to be compassionate?
- How can meditation practice help me become more compassionate?
If you would like to find out the answers, keep reading as we discover the whys and hows of being compassionate.
What is compassion meditation?
This type of meditation guides practitioners toward compassionate thoughts. It differs from mindfulness meditation, which encourages nonjudgemental acknowledgment of the thoughts and experiences in the present moment through body scans or visualization meditation techniques.
Compassion meditation is a form of psychotherapy that allows us to experience connectedness with the suffering of others, as well as our own. Through this awareness, we can awaken compassion and embrace it.
Although there are many different styles of compassion meditations, SKY Breath Meditation has been studied in-depth and is an evidence-based approach. It focuses on using deep breaths in a comfortable position to achieve your desired results, whether that’s improving your mental health, experiencing inner peace, or cultivating compassion. Best of all SKY is easy for beginners, meaning it’s easy to get started even if you’ve never tried meditation in the past.
The benefits of compassion meditation
Compassion meditation can lead to major benefits and has even been studied by experts in neuroscience due to its ability to prevent mind wandering, something that prevents many individuals from focusing on their daily life. With all the distractions we face around us, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.
Compassion meditations are a practice that can help you focus on the tasks at hand without feeling stressed or distracted. They regulate your emotions through positive psychology and promote positive feelings through mindfulness-based stress reduction.
Of course, there are other benefits too, such as:
- Reduced anxiety and negative emotions
- Increased happiness and well being
- Boosted inner peace
- A surge of compassion towards yourself and others
- Better relationships with loved ones
- Less trouble dealing with difficult people
- Can be used along with treatment by healthcare professionals and clinical psychology
These benefits compound the longer you practice compassion meditations, making it something you should strive to do regularly.
Gaining compassion towards oneself
The main aim of this meditation is to enhance positive emotions towards yourself and others and increase feelings of compassion. You may not have thought you need to work on this quality in the past but think it over:
- How often do you look in the mirror and say, "I love myself"?
- How often do you forgive yourself for your mistakes and don't feel guilty?
- How often do you love being in your own company?
- How often do you console yourself for your failures?
Most of us don’t like spending time with a person who grumbles a lot about us or makes us feel bad about ourselves, but most of us do that to ourselves. We criticize ourselves for our failures, when we make mistakes, or for not being perfect all the time. Sadly, that only makes us feel low and unworthy of love, causing psychological distress.
In an attempt to make everything right, we strive to be perfect and invite more stress. Despite knowing improvement is a gradual process, we want everything to happen in one go. That's where the need to be more compassionate and not be so hard on oneself arises.
Self-compassion means totally accepting ourselves the way we are and then working on changing aspects of ourselves that don’t serve us. But the ability to do all this comes when our mind is calm and at rest. And the mind calms down and feels restful through meditation.
Meditation brings us back to that space of unconditional love. Meditating regularly helps us get rid of unnatural qualities such as stress, anxiety, and depression. We start loving ourselves the way we are, without any judgments.
Tips for being compassionate towards oneself
Self-acceptance and feelings of love towards yourself don’t come easy to everyone, but there are additional steps you can take to achieve this level of compassion. Here are some tips that can help you.
- If you have made some mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on. Remember not to be too hard on yourself.
- If you do not like something about yourself and you feel you need to change it, do that without judgment. Give yourself some time to improve.
- If someone criticizes you, take it in your stride. If that criticism has substance, use it. If not, forget what they said — there’s no point holding on to such things.
Self-compassion meditation and loving-kindness practice can do wonders, even if you struggle with perfectionism or low-self esteem.
Growing compassion toward others
Self-compassion is the first step to altruistic compassion since it’s difficult to have feelings of loving kindness towards others if you don’t express them toward yourself. However, being compassionate towards others is equally important. Think it over:
- Have you forgiven somebody for their mistake without making it obvious?
- Have you helped somebody without selfish motives?
- Have you constructively criticized someone without blaming them?
Compassion is another way of saying "I care for you unconditionally". Unconditional caring is not demanding — it focuses more on giving without any expectation of getting something in return.
For example, imagine your manager at work telling you on a day when you are a little under the weather, "Don't exhaust yourself by working late into the night; your health will suffer". Likely, you would appreciate your manager’s kindness and it will make you feel cared for. If we appreciate such care from others, shouldn't we make efforts to make others feel good too?
Compassion isn’t a quality we can force ourselves to have. However, it can be developed over time through compassion meditation practices. When you have a peaceful and calm mind, compassion comes easier and can be further nurtured by spending a few minutes in meditation every day.
A few minutes of deep rest happens through meditation, and that can keep us going for the whole day. So don't miss out on your daily dose of meditation and compassion training! Why not take the first session of meditation now and experience compassion-focused therapy for yourself!?
Tips for being compassionate toward others
When you do something for others, you might feel a wave of positive energy in your heart. Remember, it does not take anything big to show compassion to others; sometimes, just a few small deeds can bring a smile to someone's face. Here are some tips for being compassionate!
- Why not help an underprivileged person with something they need — it could be giving them something they need, helping them learn a skill, or assisting them with chores.
- Forgive someone for their mistake, even if you have to make them aware of it. They’ll appreciate you not holding a grudge or bringing it up again.
- Sometimes just passing a nice genuine smile to the ones around you can also make them feel loved and do wonders for alleviating negative emotions.
You don’t have to wait to be compassionate! So, why not start today?
Discover compassion meditation with The Art of Living
If you’re longing to try compassion or loving-kindness meditations (LKM), we invite you to join an intro session to SKY Breath Meditation! You’ll learn techniques and breathing practices for beginners that help you destress and immerse yourself in the world of meditation and mindfulness. And, if you’re interested in guided meditations, don’t forget to download our Art of Living Journey app!
