If there’s one thing that everyone can relate to, and I mean everyone, it’s that sinking feeling of being a failure. Regardless of your social status, your financial or professional success, or even the perceived quality of your creative output, there will always come a time when your reality doesn’t quite match up to the dreams you once had about it.

This feeling certainly isn’t helped by the prevalence of social media, and the fact that we’re surrounded by carefully-crafted narratives of other people’s lives. Everyone else might seem like they’re having the time of their life, achieving everything they’ve ever dreamed of, while you’re left behind in the dust of disappointment.

But failure isn’t indicative of who you are; it’s simply something that you need to work through and overcome. So next time you find yourself feeling like you’re missing out, or like you’ve taken a wrong turn, or that you’ll never find happiness or success, keep these five points in mind to help you sail through and find your next peak.

1. Take control.

There is a Japanese proverb that says, “fall seven times, stand up eight”. As hard as it can be to rally yourself when you feel as though you’ve failed, it’s important to remember that your failures don’t define you. Those seven times you’ve fallen are not what makes up your character--it’s the fact that you stood up again that makes you who you are.

Sometimes one of the best things you can do for yourself when you feel like a failure is to stand right back up, brush the dirt off of your knees, and get back into the action. What can you do to take charge of your situation? What can you do to make yourself feel better? What would it mean not to be a failure, but a success? What steps can you take to get there? Only you know the answers to these questions.

2. Be grateful.

It can be really difficult to remember just how good you really have it. If you’re reading this, you likely have access to resources and tools that much of the world does not. This doesn’t mean that your suffering is meaningless or silly, just that you already have a lot to be thankful for. Maybe you feel like a failure in one aspect of your life, but step back and take a look at all that you have accomplished, and you might begin to see a bigger, happier picture of your life. After all, the link between active gratitude and happiness is pretty darn convincing.

3. Be in the moment.

Part of feeling like a failure comes from your expectations for your future not being met in the way that you’d like to see. Practices that keep you focused on the current moment, like meditation, train your mind to let go of expectations and just go with the flow. Meditation increases your resilience, boosts your self-esteem, and helps you place value on the person you are inside, rather than placing value on your outer accomplishments.

4. Reframe how you see failure.

Rather than thinking that failure is a reflection of the quality of your personhood, try coming at it from a different perspective. Albert Einstein said that, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Maybe you’ve failed at something because you’re a fish trying to climb a tree. Maybe you’ve failed for a greater purpose, or maybe this failure is showing you where you need to change. Maybe your feeling like a failure is highlighting which of your relationships is toxic, or that you need to switch careers, or learn to manage your time better, or be a more compassionate listener, or get back in touch with your body. Listen to what this failure is trying to tell you!

5. Realize that life is not about accomplishment.

Despite what we’ve been taught to believe, success is not the point of life. I recently came across a quote from the 2015 movie Sweet Bean that illustrates this really beautifully: “We were born into this world to see it and to listen to it. Since that’s the case, we don’t have to be someone. We have, each of us has, meaning to our life.” If you strive to see the world, and to listen to it, you have no chance of failure. Failure is a construct: you can’t fail at being a human being.

Here’s what spiritual master Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has to say about failure:

You are not your failures, and your failures do not define you. Your life might never look quite like how you want it to, but your ability to learn and grow from each hiccup and roadblock along the way will determine the quality of your health, happiness, and inner peace.

Paige Leigh Reist is a writer, editor, blogger, and writing instructor.