A Commitment To Happiness

I am not qualified to talk about it, but having observed many couples around the world I can give you some ideas. I will give you three ideas; one suggestion for males, one suggestion for females, and one for both.

First, ladies, my suggestion to them is, never step on the ego of your man. The whole world may call your man as stupid, but you should not say that. Don’t put him in a position where he has to prove his worth to you.
The whole world can call him stupid, but you should always say that he is the most intelligent person.
You can tell him, ‘The world does not know, you have a lot of intelligence. Just because you don’t use it, it does not mean that you don’t have it!’
Always pump his ego to enhance his self-confidence, and self-esteem.
A man has to prove himself in the world, when he comes home to rest, to find peace, you should also not put him in a position where he has to prove himself. Always pump the ego of a man and you will have no trouble.

Now, one advice for men; a man should not step on the emotions of a woman. She may complain to you about her brother, her sister, her father, her mother; but if you complain about her family, she will change sides. Isn’t it so? This is how it works in India and America; the same thing must be working in France also, yes? Whatever is dear to the lady, the emotional quotient, should be nurtured. Suppose she wants to go for shopping, don’t stop her.

One advice for both; do not ask someone to prove their love for you. When you are living as a couple for a long time, a little later, the expression of love becomes a little less. Don’t keep on asking them again and again, ‘Do you really love me?’ Or keep on complaining, ‘You don’t love me these days!’ Suppose someone doubts your love for them, it becomes such a big burden for you to prove to your love to them, right? Similarly, don’t expect others to prove their love for you. If you find that their love is becoming less, instead of accusing them saying, ‘You don’t love me, you don’t do this!’ You should ask them ‘Why do you love me so much?’ Stop complaining. In a relationship, complaining does not give any good results at all; it will pull down the energy. Remember, your job is to push the energy up; correct?

Let us take charge of our state of mind. 'I am responsible for my happiness, nobody else!' Then I am in the driving seat. There may be a thousand reasons to feel down and depressed, but we have to move with this one conviction, ‘I am not going to let the world around me bury me as long as I am alive!’ This is the spirit, and this is spirituality! And for this, I am with you, I am committed for you to rise up like bubbling joy, bubbling enthusiasm.
We have a number of programs where we can spend some time together. I tell you, for sure, you will blossom into such a beautiful strong personality that everyone will love you.

No, one has to work on one’s own ego; someone else need not work on your ego. If you find that your ego is your botheration, you have to work on it; your wife need not work on it. If someone else is trying to destroy your ego, it becomes worse.

There are many definitions to ego in spirituality; ego is an identity. When the ego expands, i.e., from being the limited identity to becoming a bigger identity, then it is good. Then the ego becomes transparent. But if someone is trying to put your ego down, it only causes depression and more suffering.

You should read this book ‘Intimate Note to the Sincere Seeker’ or ‘Celebrating Silence’. In these books, I have spoken about all the seven layers of existence. There are many definitions to ego; here I have spoken about it in a different context.

Yes, I understand your predicament, it is mine too. I keep on asking, what is it that we can do when the world is at war? Do you know, when about 3 million people walked into Paris to help the victims of terrorism, on the same day, at the same time, we had 180,000 - 200,000 people in Mumbai who meditated for them.

To keep a check on terrorism, we have to take care of the minds of people. When people think that only they have the key to heaven and everybody else is going to hell, they create hell for everybody. These people are misguided, ignorant, and have never had the opportunity of a spiritual experience.

If you go into our website, you will find so many terrorists who have been transformed by doing the breathing techniques and the meditation. You can hear it in their words.
In India, about 1,000 terrorists laid down their arms. We have been working in this area, but the problem is so big that we need more people, more resources, and more teachers. I need more hands, then we can definitely spread peace and harmony around us.

I want nothing. It is because I have everything, I only want to give more joy, and peace, and I think many of us are in the same place. We simply have to come together, wake up, and do our job.

Instead of thinking, how do we lose it and why do we lose it, think about how we can find it! There could be many theories, many theorems on why we lose it, but it is of no use. What I am saying is, you should find it, and here is a way to find it!

A baby smiles 400 times a day; a child is so happy. When he goes to school or college, then it is we who keep on conditioning him; then he smiles only 17 times during his adolescence. This is because we have not taught him anything about himself, about his mind, or about life.

Through the breath; the breath is the link between the environment, the body and emotions. If you learn some of the breathing techniques, i.e., pranayama, kriya, they will help you control your emotions.

No, if emotions control you, you are a mess. You can express your emotions, I am not saying that you should suppress them. There are two different things; one is suppressing the emotions and another is being a victim of your own emotions. Most of the crime in the world has happened because people became victims of their own emotions.