Gurudev, how do I handle or control my anger? I know that it is harmful, yet I shout. And then I feel angry with myself.
Oh my God! God only can help you, and God is very helpful, provided you help yourself first. God helps those who help themselves.
How can you help yourself? First, create some space for imperfection in life. Do not expect everyone to be perfect overnight.
It will take quite some time for you to get to that level, where anger does not even touch you. It will keep coming in different shades and intensities. Instead of looking at the cause of anger, look at the effect it is producing in your system. And then keep relaxing your system, attend to yourself.
This world cannot be so perfect, so broaden your vision. You cannot make everyone the way you want them to be. Unpleasant things are bound to happen. When it happens, you should have the strength and courage to move on. Meditation will definitely provide you that much needed strength to overcome anger. Once in while if anger comes up, don’t start blaming yourself. One thing that can be very detrimental on the spiritual path is you blaming yourself. Keep moving ahead. This is where Sangha, group or company can also help. Whatever things you cannot do alone, you can get help and support from a group, from good company.
Sangha has many benefits, but a few drawbacks also. It can also take up a lot of your energy. It can be draining at times. Many times you will have to compromise on something. The positive effect is that Sangha helps you to move forward. It gives you that much needed support to move forward. Whenever your mind goes topsy-turvy, or if your emotions are going up and down, when your inner faith is shaken, then at such times the Sangha will carry you forward. It will help you move through the situations. One negative effect of the Sangha is that if someone in the group is negative and miserable and you are not careful enough and join hands with that person, then it can bring you down as well. Sangha is also a strength.