Bangalore, India
You feel love for someone and they do not accept it. What do you do?
- Get frustrated.
- Turn the love into hatred and wish for revenge.
- Again and again remind them how much you love them and how little they love you.
- Become fussy and cranky.
- Throw tantrums.
- Feel humiliated and try to protect your respect.
- Resolve never to love again.
- Feel hurt and mistreated.
- Try to be aloof and indifferent.
But you have seen that none of these work; they only make the situation worse. What is the way out of this? How do you maintain your lovingness?
- Have patience and change your expression of love.
- Be centred and limit your expression of love. Sometimes expressing too much love puts people off.
- Take it for granted that they love you too and just accept their style of expression. Like a mother with three kids – one child talks, one child does not talk, one child throws tantrums – her love for each child is constant regardless of their behaviour.
- Genuinely acknowledge whatever love they have for you. This will turn your demand into gratefulness and the more grateful you are in life, the more love comes your way.
- Know that hurt is part of love and take responsibility for it. Realise that when you move away from your centre, you will get hurt and the nature of worldliness is misery.