Self-love is accepting yourself and treating yourself with kindness and self-respect. In other words, treating yourself the way you would treat your best friend.
However, self-love is a bit difficult to practice when so many things in our lives, especially social media is pointing towards our lacks and imperfections. The drive to be perfect is making us unhappy with ourselves, making it increasingly hard for us to accept and love ourselves. Studies show that perfectionism is linked with an increased risk to depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders and a host of other illnesses.
To top it all, the stress in our daily lives makes it hard to tend to ourselves and feed our souls with love. Yet, a few simple practices can make self-love natural and easy in a perfection-starved world.
King Janak: A lesson on self-love
To cite an example, King Janak’s love for his self was so great that it left the world surprised. A disciple of Sage Ashtavakra, King Janak’s love for himself was not limited to the changing things in life, it was unique - beyond the luxuries of the world - it was for his higher Self. Many of us struggling to be comfortable in our own skin, to accept ourself as we are, can find mighty inspiration from King Janak’s life.
Explore king Janak’s journey of Self-love with Sri Sri’s commentary on Ashtavakra Gita.
1. Start with your body
The journey to love yourself begins with the body. Imagine if you wake up to find that your body is gone. You wouldn’t even be able to express your shock with a scream. You enjoy the world and even feel its pain through your body. It’s a gift that must be loved and taken care of.
It's the only one that you have for this lifetime. Love your body, no matter what the advocates of the perfect body have to say. If you have even a slight dislike for your body, then change gears now. Start accepting your body. Love your body the way it is and take corrective actions for your health instead. Eat what is conducive to your well-being and let your intelligence rather than your cravings govern your eating habits. Take morning walks and practice yoga. Regular morning walks and yoga practice strengthens the body and ensures it remains healthy and fit.
2. Stay away from negativity
Learning to love yourself becomes difficult when you’re brimming with negative thoughts about yourself. Thoughts about your unworthiness are a hindrance to let you be comfortable in your own being. These feelings that pull down one's energy originate in the mind. Disciplining your mind and allowing yourself loose from self-deprecating thoughts is the second step to loving yourself.
Often, self-doubt is a result of comparing oneself with others. We forget to cherish our uniqueness. Discipline your mind not to indulge in negative thoughts, and rather be a silent observer of them. Let the thoughts remain.
“What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot. Everything and everybody has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that they can fulfill only by being their unique self. YOU as you alone can serve your purpose. Existence loved you so much that it broke the mold after making you so that another of your kind never gets replaced.”
~ Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
There are also times when the feeling of unworthiness is injected from our surroundings and people. How to love yourself in these moments? Well, some practical wisdom for your mind can help you remain unaffected.
Breathing techniques and knowledge imparted in the Happiness Program that can help you overcome the negativity in your mind.
3. You are more than your body & mind
We lose our confidence when our standard benchmarks of identity – the body and the mind – dwindle in appearance and sharpness, respectively.
However, a part of us never changes – an element beyond the changing mind and body. A glimpse of our self empowers us with the confidence of the greatest kind and we learn to love ourselves like never before. This element is the consciousness that is the source of joy and love in all of us. Meditation helps us to tune into this aspect of our being.
You can catch a glimpse of the changeless you through guided meditations and a personal meditation mantra.
Meditation is one way to not only change your breath - which is part of your physical state - but also to change your entire mindset. Be in that state of a seer at least for some time during the day and watch your mind, body, memory and intellect work. This will bring you immense power and calmness and thus, will make you experience freedom and joy.
4. Do not compare yourself with others
To truly know how to love yourself, you must stop the negative self-talk. The easiest way to do this is by not comparing yourself to others.Your worth doesn't increase or decrease with external events. For the sake of your mental health, practice self compassion and deal with social-media infested FOMO with wisdom. Try to be happy for others even when you get the short end of the stick. Eventually, we all get what we want. You deserve respect and there’s lack of respect that comes from comparison.
When we focus on other people, we lose time that we could otherwise invest in ourselves. We do not grow green grass by focusing on our neighbour’s garden, but we do it by nurturing our own. So, instead of wasting time comparing your journey to someone else’s, spend it investing, creating and caring for your own.
Say yes to every part of your life!
(With inputs from Prashant Lalchandani, Faculty, The Art of Living)
