You don’t need to label yourself, ‘I am a gay’. These tendencies come and go. Maybe after four years or five years, it could change. There are many straight men who after marriage, at the age of 40 years, have discovered that they have this tendency. Such tendencies come up. We should not label and blame our self.
If you have such a tendency, just recognize it, and don’t feel bad about it. You know when you start blaming yourself, when you have guilt or blame, it brings a twist to your personality which is not so palpable.