Gurudev, I am beginning to lose faith in you, what do I do?
That is good. Faith is not that which can come to an end, this is the first thing.
You are trying to run away from something in your life, and you are using God or your Guru as a pretext or reason for doing so. Faith that is built in such a way surely will shake at some point of time. Every time your faith shakes, your devotion will be renewed from within once again. Truth never fails or gets shaken. True faith remains unshaken regardless of everything that happens. That which shakes is just some small belief at a very superficial level. It is your own expectations and desires which shake you.
There was a lady who had approached me sometime earlier. She had fallen in love with a man younger than her. She told me, “Gurudev, you are God, and you can do anything. Please get me married to that man”.
In this way she started questioning me. That young boy did not want to get married to her at all, and would run away at the very thought of it. I told her, “Let me ask the boy also, whether he wants to get married to you or not”.
She said, “No Gurudev, he does not want to get married to me. But you can convince him and change his mind. I know you can do anything. Please use your power to influence his mind and make him agree to marry me”.
I told her, “There is a healthy stocky guy who came to me asking me to do the same thing for you. He wants to get married to you, so he came to me and asked me to magically change your mind and convince you to marry him. He is in love with you. Now what do I do?”
When she heard this, she said, “Oh Gurudev! I will die if I marry that other guy”.
I said, “That young boy is telling the same thing about marrying you!” (Laughter)
I asked her, “Is this truly your faith in me, or is it just your greed and desire that is making you believe such a thing?”
We often mistake our intense craving for our intense faith and try to manipulate the divine to fulfill our desires and get our work done. If you have faith in God only for the sake of having your desires fulfilled, then that will simply not work.
Which is greater: God, or your desire? Just think about it. You want to use God like currency for transactions, and you want to do the same with your Guru. Faith and devotion are needed to help you rise higher in life and go deeper within yourself.
Difficulties and unpleasant times come in everyone’s life. Is there anyone who does not have problems in their life? Lord Krishna faced so many obstacles during his lifetime. Lord Rama also faced many problems in his life. Mahatma Gandhi also faced many hurdles in his life. So difficulties come and go in life. When your faith and devotion remain intact and unshaken during those turbulent times, then you do not feel the unpleasantness of those situations. Faith becomes your anchor during these difficult times and keeps you steady.
On a completely dark night, even a flickering lamp can help you find your way and keep walking forward. But if you try to extinguish that very source of light, then it is no good. People who do this then try other ways to handle difficult situations, such as drinking alcohol, etc. Faith is a great wealth and gives you strength. Just because a few small things did not go in your favor, it does not mean that you should make your faith so fragile and delicate that it breaks every now and then.
That is why I said that it is good that you feel your faith is becoming weak and failing because something you wanted did not happen. It is alright. Eventually you will put your faith into someone or something.
