At such a time when we can't rely on human contact and external proximity to help tide through the grief, the only option is to look inwards and find the strength and resilience within. There is no doubt that grief is often overwhelming and consuming, yet the practice of meditation breaks the intensity of the cycle of grief and helps to stay steady as you face what has happened.
Two months ago, while we were visiting my in-laws in Delhi, I faced one of the most challenging times of my life. Everyone in our house was diagnosed with Covid-19 and eventually, after spending two weeks in the hospital, my husband and mother-in-law passed away because of the disease. In addition to facing a rollercoaster of emotions, which started with fear and anxiety and ended with grief, I was simultaneously recovering from Covid-19 and single-handedly taking care of our one year old daughter.
In the first two weeks when my husband was hospitalised, there was the occasional anxiety when an injection was urgently needed or the update from the hospital was not good. However, at the same time, there was a lot of faith that this was a temporary difficult challenge and we would all eventually be okay. So I would say the main challenge for me was physical because I had to take care of my daughter all by myself while I was sick with Covid. By the end of the two weeks, I had physically recovered but then his loss was shocking and unbearable.
The only thing that kept me going was the strength from the practices and the belief that this was how it had to be. If there was even a remote possibility that it could have been different, Gurudev would have surely intervened and changed it.
It was a very difficult time, but I had my life jacket prepped and ready. Armed with yoga, meditation and Sudarshan Kriya, I was able to face these difficulties with strength, and care for my daughter without any compromise. The stormy ocean that I found myself in was very turbulent, but I had faith that I would not drown. When my daughter napped, I did my daily practice of Sudarshan Kriya and listened to Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji’s knowledge. When she sat beside me and played with her toys, I chanted. When she fell asleep at night, I meditated, and I drifted off to sleep while listening to Gurudev’s guided Yoga Nidra meditation. And so, despite everything that was happening around me, I stayed afloat.
In the weeks following my husband’s death, immense waves of grief would crash against me and they were unbearable. Yet, the Guru gave me strength and I did not drown.
In addition to helping me cope with the mental and emotional strain, the practice of yoga, pranayama, and Sudarshan Kriya played a crucial role in my recovery from Covid at the physical level. I recently also attended the Art of Living’s post-Covid recovery program, and the simple yet effective yoga and pranayamas that were taught in the program have helped me regain my stamina and strength.
The second month involved getting back into a routine and settling down with this new normal of being a widow and a single mother. The challenge was having to accept that this has in fact happened and relying on Kriya and meditation to help me through.
My husband was a very involved parent and he had been working from home ever since our daughter had been born. She was so accustomed to his presence that she did realise at the tender age of 15 months that he was suddenly not there and something was amiss. At such a young age, she could only express herself with frequent wakings and crying and screaming. The only thing that helped to soothe her was Narayan bhajans. I sang to her and calmed her down, I talked to her about her father and despite what was happening inside me, I made sure that I did not cry in front of her. It was challenging at first but eventually, she settled down. I must mention that regular distance CST (Cranial Sacral Therapy) sessions for me and my daughter were extremely helpful in improving our physical and emotional health. My mother played a crucial role in making her feel settled and happy again, and in that respect, coming back to Bangalore was immensely helpful for her healing process to begin, as well as my own.
Practices in my armour in the process of healing are Sudarshan Kriya, chanting Guru Puja and Hanuman Chalisa and Yoga Nidra to be able to sleep without any medication.
We are living in very uncertain times, and now, more than ever, our priority must be physical, mental and emotional health. I was lucky to have a Guru in my life when the worst thing that could possibly happen to me and my daughter actually happened. I have been practicing the techniques taught by the Art of Living since the past two decades, ever since I did my first course when I was ten years old, and these have been such a big help during this difficult phase. Even though this phase of my life has been very challenging, I am glad that I was equipped with the tools to help me cope with it in the best possible way. I am grateful to Gurudev for giving me strength. I know that if it were not for the knowledge, the practices and of course, the Guru’s grace, I would not be in a state to share my experience on this forum today.
Tanya Aggarwal, Bangalore
A little note: As community facilitators, we believe in giving an individual the autonomy of expression. The views expressed in these pieces are the author's own.
