Simple steps to avoid complaining
Happiness is a habit. You must have heard the phrase a million times. We have all been advised to be grateful for life’s blessings. Instead, most of us love to complain about its shortcomings! Somehow, we think we feel happy airing our grievances.
On this note, it is important to differentiate between venting and griping. After all, we all need an outlet. And, that’s okay. You just have to think about whether complaining is your first reaction every time life doesn’t go your way. If it is, it is not in your best interests to continue it.
Complaining may be more harmful than you thought. It is like smoking - harmful for the passive listener as well as the active speaker.
If your listener(s) agrees with you, you feel justified and complain more. If they don’t agree with you, you feel even more alone and wronged. If they maintain a neutral or silent stance, you worry that they don’t understand, or worse, that they were not listening to you at all! Such is the nature of complaining. It is just not a positive emotion, and neither party is left feeling good at the end of your tirade.
The effect of complaining on the brain
What you think, you become.
When you constantly encourage a thought, positive or negative, it makes an impression on your brain, as the brain changes its structure according to your thought patterns. Eventually, this becomes a part of your personality. This is why we should be careful about the kind of thoughts we indulge in.
For example, let’s say that a negative thought such as, “Nothing good ever happens to me", crosses your mind, and you encourage it. You will find that that thought tends to stay with you, and your mind goes on a merry-go-round with it. Naturally, the ‘small’ negative thought expands and intensifies, till it turns into hopelessness and depression.
What goes on in the brain though? There is something called ‘synapses’ in our brain, which is a junction between two nerve cells. The nerve cells communicate with each other through the synapses. Between two synapses, there is an empty space called the synaptic cleft. This empty space acts as a bridge between the synapses, and helps to transport information between two nerve cells.
Whenever a thought arises in your mind, the synapses fires up, and exchanges information with another synapses, building a bridge between them with an electric charge, and you act accordingly. The more often you have the thought, the stronger the bridge or charge between the synapses is. Over time, it reduces the synaptic cleft.
The processes taught in the Art of Living Meditation and Breath Workshop will remove all the negative energy from your consciousness. Do it now.
Develop a skill not a complaint
Interestingly, this is how we learn new things or develop a particular skill. For example, if you are learning to play the guitar, the more you practice, the more the synapses gets fired up, reducing the distance between the nerve cells. Hence, it becomes a part of your skill. The brain has rewired itself in such a way that it makes you act on it.
In the same way, when you constantly complain and focus on negative thoughts, the synapses gets fired up faster and the bridge between the synapses becomes stronger. As you continuously act on it, it becomes your personality.
The complaining mind is alone
When you encourage negative thoughts and let them wander in your mind, you tend to complain. It results in loneliness, anger, frustration, anxiety, depression and in extreme cases, suicidal tendencies.
Nobody loves a complaining mind, not even the person to whom it belongs! You will alienate family and friends with your constant whining, who will avoid you to preserve their peace of mind. Therefore, for the sake of your own self, avoid complaining; it is the secret to a happy life. Here are a few quick tips on how you can avoid complaining.
How to stop complaining
- Look at the bigger picture. How important is the ‘bad’ event that disturbed you in the larger scheme of things?
- Train yourself to see the brighter side of life. Optimism is a habit rather than a trait.
- Be assertive so that you are not taken for a ride and made to regret at leisure.
- Be more grateful and less judgemental.
- When the urge to complain overcomes you, take a walk, read a book, or indulge in any other activity that eases your mind.
Sometimes, when that dark cloud seems to linger over you, just take a deep breath and move on. A sunny disposition is bound to, eventually, blow it away.
Staying in the present is a big part of not complaining. The Happiness Program can help you enjoy your life from moment to moment.
