These days, children wake up in the morning and sit as non-participatory witnesses in front of the screen. They go on surfing the channels. Mothers have to remind them, “Hey, come for food.”, “Go take a bath.” or “Get ready for school”. Sometimes, the mother even brings the food to the child who is busy glued to the screen and the child, without tasting and enjoying the food, gulps it down. And at other times, the mother spoon-feeds her kid who is always watching something on the screen.
Is this parenting style helpful in the long run? I beg to differ here, as this parenting style will only make your child dependent and lazy. Your kid will never become competent enough to manage time.
Ten Things to Master in Parenting
- Creating the right environment at home
- Time management for spending quality time with your kids and helping them manage their time
- Being playful with your kids
- Storytelling
- Making your kids dexterous and multitalented
- Helping your child develop inner strength and self-esteem
- Not expecting perfection in your child
- Teaching your kids the importance of respecting others
- Self-discipline to set an example for your child
- Providing unregulated playtime to your kids
Let us one by one look at each of the parenting tips that you need to master.
1. Creating the right environment at home.
Einstein said, “Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. It is not philosophy. It is physics.” According to this rule, if you want to change your child’s habit, you first need to stop repeating the habit yourself. If your child is always getting angry, you need to check if you are angry and nagging all the time. It would really help if you are peaceful and calm. This will create positive vibes at home. When you and others in the family radiate the appropriate vibrations, your child will also follow suit and manifest that reality.
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2. Time Management for spending quality time with your kids and helping them manage their time
Screen time needs to be limited as excessive screen time can lead to Attention Deficiency Syndrome in your child. A child is bombarded with so many images that the brain fails to register anything else. You shouldn’t allow your child more than one hour of screen time every day. Starting with a daily schedule, and encouraging your child to abide by it, is a brilliant way to introduce time management in your child’s life. Let them identify the activities of priority and carry them out during the day.
3. Being playful with your kids
Being a parent doesn't mean you have to be in the teaching mode all the time. You can also learn from your children as kids think out of the box. Don't be too serious about parenting. Just be playful, and sing and celebrate life with your kids. Mastering this attribute will help you build a cordial relationship with your children.
4. Storytelling
I used to narrate an interesting story every night to my son (till his teens!) to prevent him from being glued to the screen. This way, I could also introduce my child to some moral values conveyed in the stories. I was also able to make him realize his wrongdoings through a story. My son would listen to the story with a calm mind. I could see the story’s impact on his behavior the next day. Make this storytime a short but sweet togetherness with your kid.
5. Making your kids dexterous and multitalented.
Give your kids opportunities to be exposed to different avenues of life. Get your kids interested in some classical music, yoga, gymnastics, or sports. Provide them a platform to blossom with multiple talents. Let them not be stuck with just one or two disciplines. Exploring a variety of disciplines will facilitate all-round development of their personality and character. If they are stuck somewhere, gently guide them to develop interests in other areas.
6. Helping your child develop inner strength and high self-esteem
Overly focusing on your children (helicopter parenting) can cause a child to develop low self-esteem. Our education system lacks knowledge about life and the way out of emotional turmoil. This is where the Children and Teens workshop by The Art of Living can play a pivotal role in bringing your child back on track. Children feel enormous inner strength, clarity of mind, purity of heart and sincerity of actions. The best part is that all these happen effortlessly.
7. Not expecting perfection from your child
Firstly, it has been observed that perfectionist kids are mostly procrastinators. Secondly, no human being is perfect all the time, and so it is wrong to expect the same from your children. And finally, parents' attention should be on their kids’ efforts and not just the results. When my son was studying in school, my concern used to be on the efforts he put into his academics or any extra-curricular activity and not just on the results. To be honest, his grades never bothered me as much as his efforts. Whenever I saw him not giving his best, I would tell him, “I think you can practice a little more. You have it in you.”
8. Teaching your kids the importance of respecting others
The meaning of respect goes deeper than just saying “Yes, Sir”, “Yes, Madam” or being compliant. Also, the feeling of giving respect needs to come from within and you cannot force someone to respect you. In other words, you need to command respect and not demand.
It’s easy to define respect for kids. But explaining 'respect' to a child involves more than just reading out the definition. We cannot teach respect by being disrespectful to our children. We as parents should also give that basic respect to our kids.
9. Self-discipline to set an example for your child
Children will obey your words only if they see you following the same.
For example, if even one person in your family is waking up late in the morning, it won’t be easy to convince your child to wake up early. Even during my college days, my father would wake me up early. While I was studying, he would do his set of tasks. It was great mental support for me.
10. Providing unregulated playtime to your kids.
In my childhood, there were no dollhouses. I would transform my tiny corner of the room (shared with my sister) into a doll corner, kitchen corner, or a doctor’s clinic. I used to look forward to having this unregulated playtime and being myself, mastering the world on my terms. Most children now have never even tasted this ‘Me time’. Either they are in school, tuition, structured sports coaching, or some development classes.
It is through free playtime that children engage and interact with the world around them. Playtime allows children to create and explore a world they can master, conquering their fears while practicing adult roles (like in doll-family, doctor-patient, kitchen-set games) sometimes in conjunction with other children or adult caregivers.
Don’t be in a haste to master all the above parenting tips all at once. Master them one by one to see transforming results.
Happy Parenting!
Inspired by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’s wisdom talks
Based on inputs from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
FAQs
The virtue of respect for parents and others will ultimately also help reduce the crime rate.
- Stay calm, don’t overreact when your child is being disrespectful to you or others.
- Identify the cause for disrespect and focus on teaching problem-solving alternatives.
- Set an example by respecting your kids first.
- Use polite but firm discipline to teach, and not to punish.
- Give respect to earn back respect.
