Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
- Mark Twain
Talk about hitting the nail on the head! And yet, anger is a normal and natural human emotion like any other. You’ve felt it. I’ve felt it. Even the three-year-old next door has felt it! Anger is something we just deal with in our day-to-day lives.
But, how serious is it? Can you let go of your anger? Or, does it make you anxious and depressed?
Anger today, depression tomorrow
When you look around you today, chances are that you will see serious, angry, and frustrated faces. Almost everyone looks like they are Atlas - carrying the burden of the world on their shoulders. Many people are depressed as well. This may or may not show on the face, but, with modern-day pressure cooker environments, it is getting harder and harder to mask.
Clearly, it is time to step back and learn how to deal with anger and depression. The most obvious thing to do is to first identify the source of your depression and anger.
- Are you fatigued?
- Is work bogging you down?
- Are health concerns making you short-tempered?
- Are bad finances keeping you on edge?
There are so many possible sparks. Once you pinpoint the one that is bothering you, you can get down to addressing and fixing it.
5 ideas to control your anger and related problems
Take time out
Get away from the trigger of your bad feelings and emotions. It could be your boss, friend, family, or a situation. Take a walk, listen to music, sleep or pray - whatever trick works for you. It will throw up a new perspective that will help calm you.
You could also slowly count to 20 when provoked. It will help compose your thoughts before you react. This will stop you from saying or committing some unforgivable statements or actions. If you are the amnesiac sort, you might forget the issue by the time you reach 16! If not, you will still have avoided saying the first rash remarks that occurred to you!
Give up the need for perfection and being right
Have you noticed angry people? Many of them may well be perfectionists who cannot accept a spot or blemish in their work or life. Nothing is ever good enough. Surrender this notion of perfection. By no means must you be lax in your efforts at doing anything, but don’t lay undue stress on the outcome. Give it your best shot and let go. This will help resolve your anger problems and make life easier for those around you.
Spend time with nature
There is something to be said about the vastness of the mountains and the oceans that puts us in our place. It teaches humility and reverence; it subdues the aggressive and soothes the anxious.
Poet William Wordsworth had once hailed the power of nature in awakening the higher thoughts within. The uplifting elements of nature can greatly help in dealing with your anger problems. So take off for the mountains – use the greens to shake off the blues!
Check your diet
What comes out of you is a result of what has gone in. You are, after all, what you eat. So stay away from food items that contribute to ruffling your feathers.
- Avoid products with caffeine (for example, coffee and chocolate) as they make you restless and irritable.
- Also stay away from fried products and sweet dishes. They lead to weight gain, tiredness and loss of energy in the long run.
- To practice effective anger management, it will help to eat fresh vegetables, fruits, and other cereals at regular intervals.
- An irregular and inadequate diet can, after all, cause tempers to flare up.
Engage in spirituality
Most of us have some level of aggression that must be channelized properly. To control anger, you have to tame the wild spirit in you. Spirituality achieves this and more.
A few rounds of Surya Namaskars or Sun Salutations will shake off the morning sluggishness and induce a positive energy in you. Yoga asanas energize and relax simultaneously. This will help ward off anger and depression originating from weariness.
Pranayamas ensure that all the cells of your body get fresh oxygen. They help fill you with a calm energy that keeps you unaffected by life’s challenges.
Anger emanates from regret relating to the past or worry relating to the future. What meditation does is that it keeps you in the present. Make time for 20 minutes of meditation to de-clutter your mind and calm those frayed nerves.
It also helps to do seva or service to others. Anger and depression come from constantly trying to please yourself. Doing seva takes you out of your parochial existence. It thrusts you into a broader space where higher thoughts take birth. Anger and depression will, then, languish and die a natural death.
Interesting points relating to anger management and what helps
1. When you see red, you won’t be able to use your head! So, avoid making final, life-altering decisions when you are angry.
2. Silence is golden. Resist the reactive urge in you and you will have less to regret.
3. People and situations that unsettle you are the ones that will help you grow. They will ensure that you become a better person whether you like it or not!
4. Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar often says: Give some room for imperfection. This will increase your patience and acceptance levels in you.
Interestingly, not all anger is bad or unwarranted. If you use your anger to fuel a change in society by, say, standing up for the downtrodden, it is well worth being angry! Similarly, it may be necessary for a parent to display anger to discipline a child to effect a critical change.
All the same, it is important not to allow anger to overwhelm you. It should run its course without affecting your words or actions. Don’t hold on to it or fixate on getting rid of it. You can then be comfortable with the emotion. After all, remember that it does not control you, you control it!
The Art of Living’s Happiness program is a perfect blend of yoga asanas, meditation and breathing exercises like Sudarshan Kriya. The experience helps release pent-up frustration and anger. It also gives you a fresh perspective and induces a deep and unshakeable composure within. You will find it easier to deal with negativity, anger, and depression. FIND A HAPPINESS PROGRAM NEAR YOU!
